Daughter's decision to end pregnancy torments mom
My 22-year-old daughter became pregnant from a guy she had dated only a few months, but never seriously. After weeks of wondering what she was going to do, she decided that terminating her pregnancy was the best thing to do considering she has limited income and still lives with me. I, however, am pro-life, although I do feel that in cases of rape or incest it is acceptable. My daughter knows how I feel about this. I supported her in her decision, but did not agree with it.
Abby, I have taken this really hard. I have cried every day since she had the abortion, and I'm torturing myself thinking this is my fault because I went against everything I believe in when I supported her in her decision.
Why am I beating myself up about this? Is it because she's my daughter, because I am pro-life or both? How can I stop blaming myself for her decision? -- TORTURED IN THE SOUTH
The decision about whether or not to terminate the pregnancy wasn't yours to make; it was your daughter's. Being pro-life, you have your own convictions, but you acted as a loving parent should -- you supported your child. If you feel you could benefit from counseling to help you through this, ask your doctor for a referral.
My husband and I are having a disagreement and I'm wondering if you could weigh in. We keep a handgun hidden in a locked safe in our bedroom. (An access code is required to open it.) We also have a 1 1/2-year-old daughter.
On the recommendations of a co-worker, we recently hired a baby sitter whom we used for an evening while we attended a party. She seemed like a nice young lady.
My problem is, when she arrived, my husband immediately announced that we had a gun upstairs. He felt it was her "right" to know. I think, because the gun isn't accessible, the information was useless to her and actually may have put our family in danger. How do we know she won't mention it to someone who will target us for a break-in in order to steal it?
To me, having a (secured) firearm in our house is no one else's business but ours. What do you think? -- NOT THE WILD WEST
DEAR NOT THE WILD WEST:
I think you are correct. This is a subject that should have been discussed before the young woman was hired. Your husband exhibited poor judgment by sharing what should have been confidential information.
My colleagues and I are concerned about a close friend and co-worker. He insists that it's not against the law to read books while driving. He says he does it only on highways because everyone is going the same speed and direction and you only need peripheral vision.
In every other aspect of his life, this man follows the rules to the letter and is a highly respected teacher. Is it true that this is legal? -- CONCERNED IN OHIO
Of course not! A distracted driver who is reading books is at least as dangerous as one who is eating, texting, applying makeup, shaving or talking on a cellphone. This "highly respected" teacher doesn't have my respect; he's a menace on the highway.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Write Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
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