The Fourth of July (Independence Day) is one of my very favorite holidays — and this year we're spending it in style, at the Grand Hotel at Mackinac Island.

Today we celebrate the birthday of our country, and the lives of the individuals whose collective efforts severed our allegiance to Mother England and sent us down the pathway of political and social self-determination. You know . . .

"We hold these Truths to be self-evident, that all Men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain inalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty, and the pursuit of Happiness."

After three days in a small hotel room with my family, to be honest with you, I've been thinking of the "Declaration of Independence" in a whole new context. Don't get me wrong — this has been a great adventure, and I wouldn't have missed it for the world. In a few years, these memories are going to become doubly precious, as the kids start their own quest for independence.

But right now, "We hold these Truths to be self-evident":

Motherhood -- including adoptive motherhood -- is the ultimate "declaration of dependence." There was nothing quite like acquiring a captive audience, 24/7, to make me realize what a hopelessly flawed individual I am, and how much I need the support of other people. Motherhood is not for perfectionists or sissies. All too often there is far too much chaos and sleep-deprivation to do anything but hang in there and wait for reinforcements.

A few other self-evident truths: In the course of our own "human Events," we have declared ourselves to be a real family -- with all the joys and challenges that go with this human association. That doesn't mean that we always crave to be in the same room. It DOES mean that, even at our snarkiest and most difficult, we are guaranteed that someone out there will still love us.

Another self-evident truth: That our family has a father, mother, and two children -- plus an assortment of extended family members, some of whom fit more neatly into the equation than others. But each of whom holds an equal share of our children's hearts.

That the process of becoming a family has altered each of us permanently. I no longer set my own schedule, or burn the midnight oil at the editor's desk or jet-set to writer's conferences and author meetings. Saturday nights, I'm far more likely to be staying home than tearing up the dance floor. Yet somehow, I never get lonely.

That in our "right to life" -- a life together, as a family -- each of us have relinquished something important: independence, personal dreams, even the most intimate relationships. We are in a very real sense dependent on one another. Without each other, we could not be the individuals we were created to be.

That in our "right . . . to liberty," we recognize that true freedom is measured not by my right to do what I want (such as sleep in till noon), but the ability to do what is best for my family (make pancakes!). Not what I find most personally gratifying (or the toilets would never get scrubbed), but doing what needs doing at a particular moment. Such as raising a popsicle when we all meet our reading goals for the week.

That in our "pursuit . . . of happiness," we recognize that our Creator designed us with a particular end in mind. Because we are both physical and spiritual beings, lasting happiness can never be obtained without keeping those two sides in balance -- and by remaining in relationship with God and with one another.

When life gets especially crazy -- on the days I white-knuckle it till bedtime -- I remind myself that our greatest chance for long-term happiness is found not in autonomy, but in unity. So instead of locking myself in the bathroom, or hitting the honor bar, I affirm my personal "declaration of dependence."

Following the advice I received from other veteran mothers shortly after we received our children, I fight the urge to push them away, and look for ways to get closer: a tickle fight, pool splash, or snuggled together for a special in-room movie night.

It's not the most glamorous life . . . but we've never been happier.

Heidi Hess Saxton is a contributing writer to the Parenting Channel of AnnArbor.com, and the founder of the "Extraordinary Moms Network," an online resource for parents of adopted, foster, and special-needs children. You can reach her at heidi.hess.saxton@gmail.com.