Dear HS,
It's very hard to have someone describe your child negatively and even worse to worry if your child’s struggles are your fault. Over the past 30 years, ADHD seems to have become an epidemic in our society, with one in 10 of all 10-year-old boys being medicated for these symptoms. Teachers are often at the forefront of dealing with classroom difficulties, so it's not surprising that they sometimes turn with relief to the idea that a pill can change a child's school behavior.

The complication is that medications like Ritalin, Adderall and other stimulants can change everyone's behavior. They increase concentration and ability to focus for anyone who takes them, at any age, whether they show "ADHD symptoms" or not.

So it's a big challenge to assess what's right for your child, when you know he is a whole complex person, with all sorts of strengths, as well as the vulnerable areas he is still grappling with. Any child is a work in progress, and we don't expect their behavior always to proceed smoothly. It's unlikely that one solution can fix multiple issues or be the best for every child.

Continue reading Ritalin only one part of the solution when a child keeps getting into trouble at school...

Groundhog Day is right around the corner.

Photo courtesy of fotosearch.com.

It is almost time for the groundhog to make his appearance. As tradition would have it, Groundhog Day is celebrated on Feb. 2 each year. Before Groundhog Day began as we know it, Germans who settled in Pennsylvania in the 1800s brought many traditions. According to Mother Nature Network, one of those traditions was predicting the end of winter based on bears' and badgers' habitation habits.

The tradition of Groundhog Day really took off in the 1880s. A group of groundhog hunters in Punxsutawney, Penn. caught the attention of a local newspaper editor, Clymer H. Freas. "He became so enthralled by local groundhog folklore that he went on to promote Punxsutawney as home to a weather-predicting groundhog." Freas repeated and embellished this story year after year.

Continue reading Why do we celebrate Groundhog Day and how can the kids get involved?...

Dear BL,
Everybody gets worried sometimes. All our lives there are things that scare us. Psychoanalysts and psychologists, as well as neurobiologists, describe a normal sequence of threats to our good feelings about ourselves in the world.

Infants worry about abandonment, aloneness and separation from the people they need to keep them safe. Toddlers worry that their feelings will overwhelm them and blast the universe. Kids fear that their parents won’t love them any more if they are naughty. Teens dread humiliation from their peers. Adults worry about security of relationships and practical life. Seniors worry about death.

Everyone worries about their bodies being intact and free from debilitating or painful illness. Underlying all these worries that unfold through the life cycle is a profound fear of helplessness.

What can we do to feel sturdier? How can we fight back against the inevitable fears so that we can live our lives with more confidence and joy? How well are we doing at that task?

Continue reading Parents can help children fight back against fears...

Dr. Monique Reeves, Medical Director, Washtenaw County Public Health

Pertussis, also known as whooping cough, is a highly contagious respiratory disease. It's known by the symptom of uncontrollable, violent coughing that often makes it hard to breathe. After fits of many coughs, someone with pertussis often needs to take deep breaths, which result in a "whooping" sound.

Pertussis most commonly affects infants and young children and can be fatal, especially in babies less than 1 year of age.

Breaking it down by the numbers:

In 2009, which was a record year, 81 cases of whooping cough were reported here in Washtenaw County. It was — by far —  the largest number of cases since 1992, with the runner-up record of 36 cases in 2003.

In 2010, pertussis was at a record high with 232 cases reported in Washtenaw County residents. Across the country several states reported an increase in cases and/or localized outbreaks of pertussis, including a state-wide epidemic in California. Why was there such a big increase in pertussis cases?

Some likely reasons include:

• Decreasing immunity in teens and adults. Many have not yet gotten their Tdap vaccine booster, and more than half of this year's cases have been in teenagers and adults.
• Unvaccinated children. Parents who opt out of vaccinating their children create pockets of vulnerability in the community.
• Change in pertussis testing. A newer test, called a PCR, has become the dominant method of testing and most likely we are detecting more cases than we would have in the past.

Continue reading Due to public health measures, pertussis rates in Washtenaw County drop - dramatically...

Photo by Flickr user JackVersloot

In this activity, you and your child can tell a story by creating a Paleolithic Cave Painting using a few common craft supplies.

The History of Cave Painting

Continue reading Make your own Paleolithic Cave Painting...

Set New Year's resolutions and stick to them- evaluating and reevaluating is a key component to success.

Angela Verges | Contributor

It's that time of year where many of us make promises of changes we want to make for the New Year. These resolutions can be easily made, but difficult to make them stick. Statistics show that the success rate for keeping resolutions is between 5 and 20 percent depending on the resolution (ourcoloradonews.com).

How can you create resolutions and stick to them? Newspaper columnist and personal fitness trainer Cord Prettyman uses the mnemonic SMARTER, to help clients stick to resolutions.

Check out these quick tips:

Continue reading Tips for creating successful New Year's resolutions...

Kerry Kelly Novick is a local child, adolescent and adult psychoanalyst, and author, with Jack Novick, of "Emotional Muscle: Strong Parents, Strong Children," available at amazon.com or through http://www.buildemotionalmuscle.com. Check the website regularly for blogposts and news of upcoming media appearances and events. Follow EMOTIONAL MUSCLE: STRONG PARENTS, STRONG CHILDREN on Facebook. She welcomes your email with comments and questions for future columns at kerrynovick@gmail.com.

Kids pose for annual family holiday dinner.

Angela Verges | Contributor

The holiday season is in full swing. Commercials encourage last minute shoppers to hurry to stores for deals, Secret Santas are revealed, and the kids anticipate items from their wish lists. What really makes a holiday memorable?

A good place to begin is by creating meaningful family experiences. One tradition in our family is to gather the kids together for a photo during our Christmas dinner. The best part for them is selecting a small gift from under the tree.

Of course, though, we want the holidays to mean more than just receiving gifts. An article at everyday solutions.com provides ideas for making a holiday memorable.

Continue reading What makes a holiday memorable?...

Photo by Flickr user Kelly Hart

In this activity, you and your child can tell a story by creating a Huichol Yarn Painting using a few common home supplies.

The History of Huichol Yarn Paintings

Huichol yarn painting comes from the Huichol (pronounced "wee chol") Indian people, who live in western Mexico in the Sierra Madre mountain range. The yarn paintings traditionally depict Huichol myths and ceremonies, but modern works can represent stories of today's world. These works paint a picture that expresses the beauty and wisdom of traditional Huichol culture.

Continue reading Make your own Huichol yarn painting...

Dear JV,
You are not alone — most people find the end of the day, when kids and parents are tired, harder to handle. When you add in the multiple tasks you're describing, and the separate, demanding days everyone has had, it's not surprising that everyone gets a bit frazzled. Instead of trying to help you streamline the moment, I'm going to offer some advice that may seem counter-intuitive, but it's based on serious research about how we all manage our feelings.

Rather than diving into the many tasks right away, and firing questions at the kids, trouble-shooting and trying to resolve conflicts, consider how you all greet each other. Surprisingly, the way people reunite after absence can be a powerful influence on their immediate feelings, as well as having a long-term effect on personality development and functioning.

We all crave hugs, at moments of celebration and moments of distress. Do we know why they matter so much and make us feel so comforted, safe and refueled? Recent research describes the roots of our dependence on hugs in terms of early attachment behaviors between babies and their mothers and fathers.

Babies who are securely attached are babies whose parents have been able to be available consistently enough to give their babies confidence that they will be there when needed. One of the ways that message gets transmitted is through hugs that come at the needed moment, and last long enough to allow the baby to relax safely into a happy, satisfied state of contentment.

Continue reading Why hugging matters: At the end your day, replace the frazzled rush with affectionate greetings...

Kids can pray anytime, anywhere; it doesn't have to be a special occasion.

Angela Verges | Contributor

When my son was 4 years old, we were sitting at the breakfast table preparing for our meal. I noticed he closed his eyes and bowed his head silently for a few moments. When he was done, I asked him what he was doing. He said, "praying."

I asked my son, "What did you say when you were praying?" His response was, "Nothing. I just closed my eyes like you do."

This was a great teachable moment. As I reflect on this moment, I pose the question, what should your kids know about prayer?

Continue reading What should your kids know about prayer?...

Dear KM,
It’s nice that you and your husband have options to consider. It would be great to hear from readers what their experiences have been growing up in different-sized families and also what has gone into thinking through their own family structure.

Here’s the deceptively simple question: Do you want another child? It’s hard to tell from your letter whether you are trying to be logical, to justify a strong wish to have a third child. Or if you are reluctant, but feel you should have another since you can afford it and are available for caretaking.

A wish for a child is never a simple thing. It is bound up in deep biological imperatives to ensure the continuation of the species; our earliest ideas of being a woman or a man can be formed around having a baby, since it's grownups who have children.

Whether we actually have children or not, the adult phase of parenthood, where we care for and nurture someone or something beyond ourselves, is a central part of the personal development that continues throughout life. The majority of people enter and consolidate that phase of their adult development by bearing or rearing children.

Continue reading More children or not? Consider your feelings, too, when planning the size of your family...

Photo: Mona Shand

I've always been a morning person, but never quite like this.

That's why it's 5:30 am on the Saturday of Thanksgiving weekend, and I'm wide awake.

My first bit of time off since starting a new job, and I'm wide awake.

One husband and three children snoring away, and I'm wide awake.

There's nothing but the occasional sound of the furnace to disturb me as I sit writing by the glow of the baby monitor. It is by far my favorite time of day.

Continue reading Giving thanks for quiet, blissful moments in the morning...

Celebrate picture book month.

Angela Verges | Contributor

Have you heard? November is Picture Book Month.

I just found out, but it’s not too late to get on the ban wagon. Picture book month was started by author Dianne de Las Casas. The idea behind this celebration is to promote literacy and encourage reading. My kids are past the age of picture books, but I still love them (the books and my kids).

What can you do to celebrate picture book month? Anything you can do to make reading fun is a good start. Check out the list of ideas I gathered from friends. You can experiment with ideas from the list and add a few of your own.

Continue reading Ideas for celebrating November as Picture Book Month...

Photo by Flickr user GlobalCitizen01

In this activity, you and your child can create a Chinese Lantern using a few common home supplies.

The History of Chinese Lanterns

Chinese lanterns have been an icon of Chinese culture since 230 B.C.E. These lanterns typically announce good news or demonstrate wishes for good luck. Early lanterns were made out of a bamboo frame, with a thin, oiled paper wrapped around it. Since then, they have evolved into the modern equivalent, made with a thin metal frame and paper.

Continue reading Make your own Chinese lantern with common home supplies...