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Posted on Wed, Aug 24, 2011 : noon

Living in the moment: This, too, shall pass, and I'll miss it when it does

By Mona Shand

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Photo by Mona Shand

I made it almost eight weeks.

Eight weeks into life with a newborn, a toddler and a preschooler. (That's three kids ages four and under, if you're keeping score.)

Eight weeks which also included three birthdays, one anniversary, a large family wedding and a new job working from home.

Eight sleep-deprived weeks of nursing a baby on the playroom floor while refereeing a fight between two toddlers over a plastic caterpillar that neither one cared about until the other touched and it became the most important toy ever....while working from home.

Eight socially-deprived weeks that lacked what had come to pass for stimulating adult conversation, as no one in the confines of my home cared to ask if I preferred paper or plastic. And did I mention I started a new job working from home?

Yes, I held it together for almost eight weeks before having a massive, Chernobyl-style meltdown.

Or maybe it was more like a Category 5 hurricane: bands of tears gathered strength and eventually morphed into ugly sobs. Flailing arms and angry words carved a path of destruction through the house.

I took shelter in the bathroom shower, where finally alone, I sank to the floor and curled up in a ball. Seconds later, I heard a gleeful giggle and looked up to find my 2 year old with her tiny button nose pressed against the glass door.

"Mama so silly!" she laughed. "Why you have you clothes in the bafftub?"

I opened the door and brought her into my cave, burying my head in her soft, wavy hair. I was just about to tell her something deep and meaningful about how sorry I was for the Mamapocalypse she just witnessed when she got very still, looked right into my eyes and yelled "BEEP BEEP!" as she pushed on my nose and ran away with a squeal.

I took a deep breath, gathered up my thoughts and my weary bones, and silently repeated the words that lately have become my mantra: "This too shall pass."

It's been comforting during these past eight weeks to remember that these tough times won't last forever. That there will come a time when my services are not quite so in demand at every moment of the day. A time when everyone in the house can wipe his/her own bottom. Now that's something to look forward to.

But later that night when I dragged my tired bones to bed for the four hours that currently constitute "nighttime" I stared at my sweet baby boy's tiny chest moving up and down as he slept in his bassinet and it hit me: this too shall pass. All of it.

This is most definitely our last child, so this time around when the baby phase is done, it's done for good. No more diapers and wipes, but also no more gummy, toothless grins or naps on the couch with a tiny little body swaddled against my chest.

I know that there will come a time, sooner than I might expect, that the little boy who begs for just one more, pleeeease, one more hug at bedtime will be embarrassed by the very thought of embracing his mother in public...

That his constant stream of talk from the backseat of the car that never, ever seems to end (no, I do not know the name of the driver in the lane next to us on the highway, and I'm really not sure how many pieces of brick it took to build our house, or the name of the dinosaur with spiky things on his head) could someday be replaced by grunting and the sound of thumbs texting "OMG, my mom is sooooo annoying."

That the little girl who is right now attached to my side for 95 percent of her waking hours and cannot seem to start a sentence without "Mommy!" will one day put her hands on her hips and roll those big blue eyes skyward with an exasperated "Moommmm!" because I have said/done/breathed the unthinkable.

That the kids who sob at the door on the rare occasion I leave the house to go somewhere very exciting like CVS will one day ask me to drop them off a block away from wherever their friends have gathered so that I do not risk contaminating their images with my inherent lack of cool.

That the baby boy who keeps me up all night with feeding and crying might one day keep me up all night with worrying and crying.

That I will no longer be able to pin my lack of muscle tone in the abdominal area on children unless I legally adopt Ben and Jerry.

That the boo boos will one day be too deep for bandaids and too painful for me to kiss away.

That the kids who right now seem to need me for everything one day won't.

Yes, this too shall pass, and then there's no getting it back.

All of "this" shall pass, and as difficult, as demanding, as exhausting as it can be, I know that I shall miss it when it does.

Mona Shand is a radio and TV news reporter. You can read more on her blog.

Comments

dexterreader

Thu, Aug 25, 2011 : 12:54 p.m.

Thank you Mona for a terrific column that really hit home. I have been through all that also, and am now sort of "on the other side" of the picture, so to speak. I just moved my youngest son off to college last week. I moved my oldest three states away to attend graduate school the next day. I'm incredibly proud of both of them, excited for them, and happy for them. But suddenly my house, and my life, seem very, very empty. I know that things will never be the same again, even though they WILL come back home for visits and summers. Enjoy your time with them now, even though I know there are days it seems you will never get any peace and quiet again! Believe me, it will happen, and then the quiet will, at times, be overwhelming. While I miss my boys tons, we raise them to fly and to be independent. It's what we, as parents, strive for. Then we can sit back, relax, and know that we have done the job we were called to do. Best of luck to you!!

nicole

Thu, Aug 25, 2011 : 3:03 a.m.

Why such negative comments from everyone? I want to say thank you for the nicely written article and the humor mixed in! It rings true for me too, even though I'm the mother of just one. I cherish every day because I know each day she changes. Sometimes you don't even notice that they've stopped doing something until one day you realize, hmmm, they're not doing that cute thing anymore, when did they stop?

quitoslady

Thu, Aug 25, 2011 : 12:48 a.m.

just wait til they are teens it gets better haha

Wolf's Bane

Wed, Aug 24, 2011 : 10:57 p.m.

3 children is just too many.

Dexter Bear

Wed, Aug 24, 2011 : 10:43 p.m.

Moms of three young children are totally entitled to comparing how they feel to any disaster...when you have a meltdown, you literally feel like the world is ending. I enjoyed this column very much and it made me think to remember the good with the bad in everything, especially in wanting to rush life through difficult, tiresome periods.

catfishrisin

Wed, Aug 24, 2011 : 10:17 p.m.

"Chernobyl-style melt down"? Perhaps you should study the devastating consequences (consequences that are still relevant today) of the Chernobyl nuclear meltdown before so casually using it to reflect your own state of mind.

Corrington

Thu, Aug 25, 2011 : 1:14 p.m.

ex·ag·ger·ate verb \ig-?za-j?-?r?t\ Definition of EXAGGERATE transitive verb 1: to enlarge beyond bounds or the truth : overstate 2: to enlarge or increase especially beyond the normal : overemphasize

Jake C

Thu, Aug 25, 2011 : 2:31 a.m.

Excellent point, Captain Literal. Next, let's complain when someone says their child "drove them up the wall" even though that's physically impossible. Or when someone complains their boss is a "tyrant", since so many innocent people have been harmed by real tyrants.