Humor: One last quiz as the school year ends - this one is for us parents
Sure, the winter holidays are cozy. The first days of spring are so hopeful. And autumn means football, with those great football snacks. But the last two weeks of school are right in my wheelhouse.
Gorgeous weather. Happy children. End-of-year festivities.
I think of it as a sweet, explosive time, with too much joy packed into two short weeks. But I have friends who feel exactly the opposite. They’d prefer to skip the craziness of these last few school days—the parties and outings and recitals—and head straight into summer.
So fellow parent, which type are you? Pollyanna? Or Please-Let-It-End?
Take this quiz to find out.
[For each question, circle the answer that sounds most like yourself.]
Question 1: Field trips. Love them or not?
A) I love them. The museum! The farm! That place with the large-scale digestive system, where you can slide down the big plastic colon! I wish chaperoning could be my full-time job. Fun, fun, fun.
B) I do NOT love them. Blech. Everyone in the tri-state area at the same zoo on the same day, and I’m in charge of four kids: One with a rash that needs ointment every hour. One who’s crying because he dropped his nametag in the koi pond. One who thinks the phrase “naked mole rat” is the height of comedy. One who says one word over and over: “Monkeys!” And it’s my job to be sure they all make it back to Ann Arbor alive. Fun, fun, fun.
Question 2: What about those end-of-year choir/band concerts?
A) [Stifling a sob.] Oh, those dear little angels. So much music and excitement. So much talent packed onto one set of shaky old risers.
B) When those risers go down in a heap—and I think one more big jazz-hand finish will probably do it—I hope my kid walks away uninjured. Then we can skip to the part where we all go to Washtenaw Dairy.
Question 3: Picnics. Discuss.
A) Goodness, where to begin? I’ve decided that the theme of this year’s class picnic will be “Safari at the Park.” Wait—maybe something catchier. How about, “Park-fari?” Or maybe, “Sa-parki?” Anyway, would someone volunteer to bring 500 Popsicles? We also need ice packs and duct tape, in case there’s a repeat of last year’s unfortunate egg-race incident. And, we could use a supervisor for the sidewalk chalk. (Supervisor, please remind the kids that all chalk drawings must be in keeping with our safari theme.) Don’t forget to e-mail me with your sing-along suggestions. And get ready for a safar-riffic good time!
B) Class picnics in a nutshell: Seven and a half hours to fill the water balloons. Two and a half minutes to play with the water balloons. Four hours of kids asking, “Are there any more water balloons?” And then we walk back to the school.
Mostly A’s: You’re a Pollyanna, like me. Let's get together later and talk party supplies.
Mostly B’s: Darn it. End-of-year hoopla is a little too frenetic for you.
Somewhere in between: Congratulations--you’re grounded and practical. And you’ll probably want to steer clear of us A’s and B’s for the next two weeks.
When it’s all over, I’ll see you at the pool—where we can celebrate my second-favorite time of the year.