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Posted on Wed, May 19, 2010 : 8 a.m.

Happy Meals: Family wants gender-neutral toys

By Theresa Bassett

A recent letter I wrote to McDonalds customer service center:

OK McDonald's! I seriously wonder why you continue to ask the question when getting a Happy Meal, "Do you want a girl toy or a boy toy?" I mean really! Why not just "Do you want Hannah Montana or Monsters v. Aliens?" We have been dealing with this for 18 years!! Does this have to be gender specific or can we come into the 21st century and work on being gender neutral? I can't believe I am the first to ask the question so why isn't anybody stepping up and doing what is right for kids? Please help!

Frustrated mom in Michigan, parent of 6 children, ages 4 to 18, boys and girls who don't always want the stereotypical toy that is gender specific! - Theresa Bassett

Letter received from McDonalds:

Hello Theresa:

Thank you for taking the time to write McDonald's and to share your thoughts with us about our Happy Meals.

I'm sorry you're disappointed with some of our Happy Meal programs. First, please be assured that none of our toys are meant to be gender-restricted. Rather, all of our toys are meant to be enjoyed by all our younger customers -- both girls AND boys.

When we offer a Happy Meal with two different themes, our employees have been specifically trained to ask customers which of the two toys offered that week they would like, and not whether they would like a "girl" toy or a "boy" toy. I'm sorry if you've experienced anything different.

Please be assured, we would never want any of our promotions, games or premium items to disappoint our customers. Because you're a valued customer, your comments are very important to us, and have been shared with our Marketing staff for their on-going review.

Again, thank you for contacting McDonald's. We look forward to serving you for many years to come.


Really!? So am I the only one that still gets asked about the boy and girl toy? I have never, ever been given a choice without gender being attached. It is always "boy or girl toy?" to which I always reply, "Can you tell me what the toy choices are?" And then we go from there.

As a parent, I want my kids to have choices and not be stuck getting what someone else thinks they should get, especially when it is specific to gender.

When my girls were little, we generally shopped in the boys section for shorts because just about everything from the girls section was inappropriate. My girls wanted to run and climb and jump rope without their shorts climbing up. One would think good ol' cargo shorts could be found for females as well. The only place they could be found were in the boys section, so that is where you could find us. I haven't had to shop for the toddler/girl/preteen in a long time so hopefully, things have changed.

I also don't want my boys to be limited in their choices. We have a ton of dress-up clothes and I would be hard-pressed to tell my boys that "no, you can't wear that." Boys don't have enough permission to just be healthy, balanced boys who can enjoy all things. I don't want my sons to be limited by the stereotypical, gender-specific roles that are foisted upon them.

We have definitely come a long way. People are breaking down barriers and doing things that at one time were thought of as belonging to one gender or the other. At the same time, little experiences can make a big impact on kids. Language is powerful. The fact that McDonalds still asks whether you want a girl toy or a boy toy sends the message to kids that there are such things when really, there are just toys.

Theresa Bassett is a parent to six children. Passions are kids, adoption, transracial and alternative families. Reach her at theresabassett1@hotmail.com.

Comments

Chad Bishop

Mon, Oct 3, 2011 : 6:18 p.m.

I'm proud of McDonald's for standing up to a bully. In your 21st century do boys and girls have the same bathrooms or locker rooms? gender and sex plays an important role on a child's development, my suggestion is let nature run its course.

Dr. I. Emsayin

Sun, Jun 27, 2010 : 7:53 a.m.

Fear of not fitting in begins for children early in life, and their parents' norms affect the children's sense of what is acceptable. Advertisers set standards that are hard to overcome and we are manipulated by these standards. Young teen girls want to totter on high heels at their dances so they can look like their adult counterparts who are seen on the pages of magazines. But the girls end up running around the gym floor barefoot because the shoes hurt their feet while the boys are comfortable in their well made sensible shoes. Later, most girls who want to fit in will wear the heels, and in old age have difficulty with their feet and posture. Of course they have a choice. We see Keen shoes now for males and females. But the desire to be peer appropriate is great. Deconstructing the norms is important in the home and in the classroom. Educating young people to ask why this is called "boy toy" or "girl toy" helps them develop analytic skills that will make them more thoughtful citizens in all arenas. This article brings to light an issue that is worth considering because when my child refuses to wear a certain style of clothing that he heard referred to as "that is so gay!" in the halls of school, we know that we must listen more closely to the thinking behind the words we hear.

little bird

Fri, Jun 4, 2010 : 11:47 p.m.

Interesting article regarding why boys and girls prefer different toys: http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-scientific-fundamentalist/200804/why-do-boys-and-girls-prefer-different-toys

little bird

Fri, Jun 4, 2010 : 11:44 p.m.

I guess my first response would be this: stop taking your kids to Mcdonalds! If you're not happy with the happy meal programs, and the food is definitely not a great option, why even bother to write the letter? I think people aren't "doing whats right for the kids" because not everyone assumes gender specific toys are wrong. I've worked with small children for years and have noticed children drawn to specific toys in a completely neutral environment- the "trucks" for "boys" and "dolls" for girls seemed almost biological. Its us, the parents, trying to find the political correctness in a spiderman doll that makes situations like this laughable.

S

Fri, May 21, 2010 : 6:36 p.m.

Are we not all adults capable of accepting someone's opinion without criticizing their character? I believe theres a place for everyone to say what they feel, but in a somewhat more mature fashion. I am sure there are many others concerns in her life and this just happened to be a small issue and she happened to have the amazing tool that is the internet from which to express her opinions. I don't see the need to be so juvenile.

Ccorwin

Wed, May 19, 2010 : 10:15 p.m.

Okay, really... do you not have anything else to worry about? Does it REALLY matter if they ask if the toy is for a boy or a girl vs. do you want Hannah Montana or spiderman??? Please! There is absolutely nothing preventing you from saying "boy" even though it's for your daughter! I do it all the time. And why make them waste time telling you what the toys are when they are on the sign at the drive thru or on the display if you go inside? to me, this seems very petty and not even worth a letter to the company. As someone once said... "Get a life"!

treetowncartel

Wed, May 19, 2010 : 4:04 p.m.

If you can affor pottery barn barn furniture you can find a neutral aternative. Also, just don't get the happy meal and you won't be asked these questions. The roots of the nonideigenous settlers of this countyry go back to a puritan norm, I don't really find it that much of a downfall that some of those core beliefs still permeate our society. Also, I think the indigenous people had some gender identities too.

bunnyabbot

Wed, May 19, 2010 : 3:31 p.m.

ann arbor.com should really have a section labeled NEWS and another labeled BLOG/NOT NEWS, "stories" like this have no place being stuck between to articles and are a waste of space

bunnyabbot

Wed, May 19, 2010 : 3:29 p.m.

seems like one of those things you could just take a deep breath about and get over it.

NorthMaple

Wed, May 19, 2010 : 10:20 a.m.

I'm surprised that Monsters vs. Aliens isn't considered a gender-neutral toy. Has anyone actually seen the movie? The lead character is a woman who saves the world after being spurned by her old romance, helped peripherally by bumbling male sidekicks.

a2idealist

Wed, May 19, 2010 : 8:21 a.m.

A-men. As a mom myself, I am constantly disgusted with the options presented for "girls" and "boys". For instance, check out the Pottery Barn Kids website. Look at the bedroom sets for girls. I challenge you to find one that is not pink. Ok, there is one that is lavender instead. But for crying out loud. I think Disney is the worst offender in this. Finally presenting an African-American female lead, the overall message in the movie was still that getting married is the ultimate goal for girls. How much longer are we to put up with this?

mentalNomad

Wed, May 19, 2010 : 8:11 a.m.

Excellent article! McDonalds could easily institute a policy that its staff no longer ask the "boy or girl" question. Anyone want to start a Facebook campaign about this?