Is helicopter parenting going out of style?

Masochistic. Self-critical. Extreme.

That's how Barney's New York Creative Director Simon Doonan recently described the past decade in women's fashion.

"Shoes became ridiculously high and very painful to wear, and women's sense of their own bodies became very masochistic, like legs never long enough, boobs never big enough, faces never Botoxed enough," Doonan said.

But Doonan predicts that the pendulum is about to swing, with women relaxing these unachievable ideals and viewing themselves in a more bohemian way. (Darn it, and I just finally got some sky-high heels and a corset belt.)

I would argue that parenting trends in the past decade (or more) have mirrored fashion's extremism: babies never attached enough, kids never safe enough, parents never involved enough. We have masochistically pursued "perfect parenting," which roughly translates to dawn-to-dusk enrichment while eliminating every possible risk for our kids.

Even "bohemian" parenting message boards like those on Mothering.com are filled with questions about the safety of everything from toys to vaccines, from mothers who use their signature lines to compete for some uber-parent title: "Wife to my hippie husband and mama since 2/24/09 to DD, the constantly nursing toddler formerly known as sling baby, homebirthed, organic, and diaper-free." Chew on that one.

But the parenting pendulum has already begun to swing the other way.

The tipping point, I believe, occurred in 2008, when syndicated columnist Lenore Skenazy wrote a piece about letting her 9-year-old son navigate the New York City subway alone.

The column initially set off a firestorm of criticism, and she was dubbed “America’s worst mom.” But 20 months later, Skenazy now heads up a movement that is the antithesis to helicopter parenting.

At her Free Range Kids blog, Skenazy describes the philosophy this way: “[W]e believe in safe kids. We believe in helmets, car seats and safety belts. We do NOT believe that every time school age children go outside, they need a security detail.” The blog chronicles outrageous examples of overprotectiveness, such as the school district in Saratoga, New York, that forbids elementary students from biking to school. You know, for their own good.

A growing number of parents are tuning in to this movement, and the media is starting to take notice. In November, Time and CBS both ran pieces on "the end of overparenting." As the Time article puts it:

All great rebellions are born of private acts of civil disobedience that inspire rebel bands to plot together. And so there is now a new revolution under way, one aimed at rolling back the almost comical overprotectiveness and overinvestment of moms and dads. The insurgency goes by many names — slow parenting, simplicity parenting, free-range parenting — but the message is the same: Less is more; hovering is dangerous; failure is fruitful.

There are even those who've already taken it to the opposite extreme. The parenting website Babble.com has an ongoing series of "Bad Parent" columns, in which parents brag about flouting popular advice. "My daughter watches up to 6 hours of TV a day!" one column proudly proclaims.

As a mom, I have felt this transition. And as a parenting writer, I can see the evolution in my own work. When I started my blog on MLive.com six years ago, I named it Neurotic Mom. My first few posts were about chemicals leaching from baby bottles, SIDS, and studies showing babies can be deprived of oxygen in their car seats.

Now, I'm not saying those things aren't worthy of concern, but the tone was a bit, shall we say, hysterical. I still remember the agony I felt when I read about those car seat studies, thinking of how many times we had let our six-month-old daughter sleep in her car seat when she was a newborn, because she wouldn't sleep anywhere else. I spent days peering at her, analyzing her eyes, her sounds, her movement, trying to discern whether she'd suffered brain damage. (She's fine.)

Over the years, my outlook has tempered, and I wonder if the moniker Neurotic Mom still fits. Certainly there's a part of me that still worries about my kids and whether I'm doing this parenting thing right. That's pretty universal, isn't it? But the oppressive worry is gone. Perhaps that's a normal progression of motherhood, but I think it has been helped along by the relaxing parenting norms.

Whatever the reason, I take new causes for concern (Zhu Zhu Pets are toxic!) with a generous dose of salt. And I've found that being a parent these days is a lot more fun.

Of course, as I'm writing this, I glance up at CNN and see a segment about a Georgia couple facing charges of cruelty to children — for giving their own kids tattoos. While individual moms and dads may be trying to turn this overparenting ship around, it's going to take awhile for our society and institutions to catch up.

What do you think? Take the poll:

poll by twiigs.com

Jen Eyer is on the Community Team at AnnArbor.com. She oversees the Parenting and Home & Garden sections, and writes feature stories, blog posts and opinion pieces. She can be reached at 734-623-2577 or jeneyer@annarbor.com.