During the first weeks of my daughter’s life, I watched a lot of the Today Show. It was a peaceful time. I lived in my rocking chair, and I ate whatever I wanted. Al Roker kept me entertained.

One morning, Al thrust his microphone at a woman who was holding a big, round baby. The baby was laughing and clapping, and Al asked the question that was on my mind: “How old is he?”

“Six months!” the woman exclaimed, grinning. She waved the baby’s plump fist at the camera.

I looked down at my new daughter. She was silent, still, and teeny. How fun it would be when she could laugh and clap, like that awesome Today Show baby.

Then I sighed, a little exasperated. I couldn’t imagine anything past a size 1 diaper. Time was moving at a crawl, and six months would NEVER come.

That was exactly 12 years ago.

Despite my pleas, my daughter recently insisted on turning 12, and now she’s hurtling toward adulthood. Gone are the days when a silly face could make her laugh. Here are the days of Lady Gaga and mom-please-don’t-embarrass-me.

So, without meaning to embarrass, I’ll say this: Goodness gracious. The wicked smiles, the 80’s-inspired earrings, how tall she's grown—it’s almost too much. I can’t believe she was ever teeny. I can’t believe I was stupid enough to think the teeniness would last.

We’ve both come a long way.

My son is bringing up the rear, and I realized a few days ago that I’m about halfway through my tenure as a parent-with-kids-at-home. So, with that milestone in mind (and because I am a list-maker), here’s a brief overview of how parenthood has gone so far.

Things I’ve Gotten Weirdly Good at Because I Am a Parent

1. Scraping gum off of a golden retriever. 2. Counting by eleventies to katrillion. 3. Feigning surprise when presented with a dandelion. 4. Feigning concern when a goldfish dies. 5. Washing other people’s hair. 6. Finding the triangle in a pile instruments at Kindermusik, then grabbing it before the other kids can. 7. Understanding the difference between “Clone Troopers” and “Storm Troopers.” 8. Changing the subject when asked about sex or Santa. 9. Measuring two teaspoons of medicine with only the glow of a digital clock to light my way. 10. The hokey pokey.

Things I’d Never Done Before I Became a Parent 1. Smiled at babies on airplanes. 2. Asked my husband if he needed to go potty. 3. Sent hate mail to a dinosaur. 4. Said, “Let’s go to a different park. These swings suck.” 5. Sung along with a giant mechanical rat. 6. Snuck leafy greens into a batch of brownies (for reasons related to nutrition). 7. Developed a (small) crush on a man who dresses exclusively in green stripes. 8. Used the word “farty” as a technical term. (As in, “On a scale of one to ten, how farty do you feel?”) 9. Made a llama costume. 10. Got excited about backhoes.

Things I Wish I Were Good at Because I Am a Parent

1) Making llama costumes. 2) Building a blanket fort that doesn’t collapse at the slightest touch. 3) Understanding whether juice boxes are good or evil. 4) Jedi mind tricks. 5) Geometry.

And, a bonus list…

Things I Am Not Good at Anymore Because I Am a Parent

1) Staying awake. 2) Trivial Pursuit.

Here's to a few more good years of learning and list-making.

Heather Heath Chapman is a writer and a mother of two. No need for angry e-mails—the most objectionable list items are probably just jokes. (She really is good at the hokey pokey, though.) You can reach her at heatherchapman1@me.com.