How to avoid zombie children and juvenile delinquency this summer
Most tweens and pre-working teens love the thought of summer vacation. But once it gets going the sheer number of hours to fill can lead to 10 hour, zombie-induced, video game marathons interspersed with wandering the world under the radar and getting into trouble.
And while over-scheduling and too much parental control have its own challenges, and screen time may seem preferable to unsupervised social time, having a discussion about your expectations and assisting your kids in finding alternatives to O.D.ing on XBox® or crossing the line into risky behavior can insure that everyone, including parents, has a better summer.
First a word of caution: Rushing in and giving suggestions will likely create a power struggle over whose job it is to find an acceptable solution to time spent. The 'acceptable' part is your role to define. The 'solution' part is their responsibility. Ideally we want our kids taking the lead with us backing them up - with a little encouragement, money or rides - to help make it happen. Though we don't actually want to make it too easy. Otherwise their little brains will not grow and learn how to solve challenges to success and then where will they be?
But whether because they need a nudge or because they have a touch of depression now that the expanse of summer has come into full view, having a base line and, if asked, offering ideas to your child can get the summer off to a good start. Of course it will almost certainly deteriorate by August but then, at least it will be August and hopefully parents and children alike will have a better story to tell about their summer highlights.
Here's your cheat sheet (and for a downloadable pdf of this checklist click here):
Every day Minimum Standards Checklist: ___ Maintain yourself (eat right/shower/brush teeth) ___ Maintain your space (Minimum: path through your room) ___ Contribute to the house - Do your chores (Do mine too if you want!) ___ Be physical (1 or more hours) ___ Turn on your brain (Make at least a few new neurological connections) ___ Read something (Cereal boxes count but not very much) ___ Laugh and have fun (legally of course)
Physical exercise ideas: ___ Swim, jog, take a walk or hike ___ Ride bike/skateboard/rollerblade ___ Work out or lift weights ___ Join a sports team or camp ___ Find a friend and play soccer, basketball, football, baseball, catch, frisbee, tennis
Brain/Learning Exercises: (According to the US Dept of Ed students lose as much as 25% of their learning in the summer) ___ Read a book or magazine ___ Play a board game or cards ___ Just for fun - try to remember some geography facts, or math facts, or what photosynthesis is
(don't be surprised if you child's brain hurts during this exercise)___ Use your curiosity to figure out how things work - toilet, automatic garage door, coffee maker ___ Do a science experiment
Set a goal for yourself and accomplish it ___ Learn an instrument ___ Take singing lessons ___ Learn a foreign language
Be creative: ___ Build something ___ Draw, paint, sculpt something ___ Cook or bake something ___ Make a movie ___ Make a garage band song ___ Make your own board game ___ Design a computer game ___ Learn photoshop or flash ___ Take pictures - pick a subject and try to get a picture from every angle ___ Take on a craft project: And think outside your gender:
girls ~ think model cars
boys ~ why not try sewing or crocheting___ Write, Write, Write! - Stories, poetry, journal, essays, letters to favorite people ___ Listen to music or make music ___ If you have younger siblings: read them a book, build a fort or teach them something new ___ Go to the library and see what';s going on. Join the summer reading/activity program ___ Take a class - Ann Arbor Rec and Ed, Neutral Zone, Ann Arbor Art Center, etc. ___ Go away to camp or sign up for day camp ___ Get wet ~ town pools, go to a lake, get in a boat or canoe and get on the water ___ Start a home business - mowing, dog walking, mother's helper, summer tutor ___ Shadow someone who has a cool job ___ Volunteer for an organization, or help a neighbor ___ Raise money for a good cause - have a carnival, join a walk-a-thon or car wash for charity, visit a non-profit and ask for their wish list and then gather items
May you and your children enjoy many of the moments of summer. Good luck.
Annie Zirkel, LPC is a Parenting Consultant and mother of 3 potentially bored teenagers with a long summer ahead of them. Contact her at annie@practicehow.com Creative Common License photo credit by sunshinecity
See something to add to the list? Please join the conversation below.
Comments
Angela Smith
Sun, Jun 27, 2010 : 5:45 p.m.
I am printing this and hanging it on the fridge for days like today! Thanks!
Woman in Ypsilanti
Fri, Jun 25, 2010 : 3:56 p.m.
Kids should get 2 weeks of vacation a year from school so that they can be prepared to enter the soul sucking American workforce when they are adults;)
and9801
Fri, Jun 25, 2010 : 3:18 p.m.
As a full time nanny in the Ann Arbor area I've discovered many different activities that both fun and educational. Some have no cost, some are very expensive, some have costs that can be offset by the program the AADL has going. Planning activities ahead of time can make the summer a time as filled with learning as the school year. We live near so many different wonderful experiences that can teach valuable things in ways traditional schooling cannot. There is an abudance of day camps, as well as places to visit. Just Google things to do around your area. Life skills can be focused on, volunteer experiences are available, reading programs through the local library or book stores, physical activities like swimming or hikes through some of the many parks. Learning about riding the bus and planning trips through Ann Arbor can be a lot of fun for young children. The Scrap Box for misc. art supplies is both a fun experience, and a lasting one when you can use the materials for a while to come. Providing a positive summer full of learning is about being adventurous and teaching curiousity isn't as hard as it sounds (even when dealing with older children like tweens and young teens).
Annie Zirkel
Fri, Jun 25, 2010 : 2:09 p.m.
In thinking about my answer to @Fran I want to reconsider something. I imply that I am for year-round school when actually I like my kids having summers off from formal education. Summer is an opportunity for a different kind of learning and for kids to take more of a lead role then they often get in regular school. Done well - summer vacation is a dream, a heaven, sometimes a haven from the pressures and people of school. And an opportunity to focus more on making memories than on making grades. Of course we should be open to new ways of doing things as long as we stay aware of what we may lose in the process. And we also need to reach out to those with less support, financial resources or ability to make summer time count - And be that village!
Stefan Szumko
Fri, Jun 25, 2010 : 1:48 p.m.
Obviously, we need to hold on to our current school break schedule so that our children can help out on the farm. Incidentally, those who do run family farms, how engaged are your children in the business of the farm these days? Would your business be negatively affected if the school break schedule was altered with a shorter summer break but longer breaks throughout the school year?
KWaugh
Fri, Jun 25, 2010 : 12:50 p.m.
I just hit print on the PDF file. Thanks!
Barb
Fri, Jun 25, 2010 : 12:47 p.m.
@Fran is so right - our school is trying an experiment to combat the brain drain over the summer. It's just a small thing (Google "Think Stretch") but it met with a lot of enthusiasm at our school. Maybe because we as parents are starting to get it.
Annie Zirkel
Fri, Jun 25, 2010 : 12:11 p.m.
@Heather and @Barb thanks for your comments. @Fran - Yes - the summer school hiatus can really set kids back so parents really do need to help them keep hold of those brain cells! The bigger challenge to changing the system comes from the fact that this kind of schedule is such a sacred cow for so many people that it would take a lot of research and a huge community will to change it. You might want to check out Malcolm Gladwell who makes an interesting case for your proposal in his book Outliers. But until there's a change - parents need to fill in this gap. Hope the list helps. @Ed - excellent point. Hope to hear all about what you did this summer too!
Fran Loosen
Fri, Jun 25, 2010 : 11:38 a.m.
So if kids are so bored during the summer, why do we resist the idea of year-round classes? Why do we persist in this notion that kids need to go intellectually inactive in the summer? There is some good evidence that kids that do not have enrichment during the summer months lose reading and math skills while those that do maintain. What an archaic system!
Barb
Fri, Jun 25, 2010 : 11:25 a.m.
Me too - that's a great list!
Heather Heath Chapman
Fri, Jun 25, 2010 : 8:41 a.m.
I love this, Annie. Thank you!!!!