When I was younger, before becoming the parent to children with very, very curly hair, I never in a million years knew that the word "hair" would be such an electric word. It is political, personal, and brings up an array of amazing emotions in people. Little did I know.

Growing up, I was never particularly attached (no pun intended) to my hair. It was at that time a mousy kind of brown; somewhat thin; definitely not thick, luxurious or any grand color. I really don’t think I spent all of five minutes contemplating it until maybe middle school or high school, but truth be told, I don’t remember thinking much about it even then.

If it was clean and I got the occasional trim, I was good to go.

And I spent no more time thinking about it until I had daughters. Black daughters who have super-curly, textured hair.

When my daughters were young, I spent an amazing amount of time braiding hair and doing general hair care. My daughters would spend hours watching a favorite movie as I carefully parted, oiled, braided and put beads into their hair. I loved the time we spent together. I always tried to give positive messages about hair as I was learning quickly about the depth of the hair discussion in the African-American community.

I never knew hair was seen as the "crowning glory." I never knew the way a person’s hair was kept or unkept spoke volumes. I never knew there was this raging and ongoing issue about hair.

When we adopted 20 years ago, there were classes in hair care but nothing to prepare one for the issues associated with hair. I was less than happy when my children would voice how they would like long, flowing, different-colored hair. It was for me a not-so-subtle rejection of what they had. I knew, sadly, that they were already receiving messages about what was "pretty" and what was not. This wasn’t just one of those "you always want what you can’t have" type of situations. Little girls with long, blond hair aren’t usually wishing for something else.

My one daughter was so tender-headed that we decided at a young age to let her hair "go" and let it dred. This wasn’t received positively by many but it sure was by my daughter. Nothing like a kid who gags the entire time you are doing her hair. Dreds were seen by many as making a choice for our daughter that wasn’t hers. In my opinion, piercing ears or male circumcision is one of those choices that isn’t a child’s either. Hair is temporary. And so are pierced ears, for that matter.

My 18-year-old daughter, to this day, still has her dredlocks. Hair was never a worry for her because of it. Yes, there were times when people would make disparaging remarks, but the benefits outweighed the negatives for her. She was able to do every activity with no thought given to her hair, unlike many of her friends who had just got their hair permed or straightened or styled.

My 19-year-old has gone through a progression in hair.. As parents we were so anti-chemical, so for the most part our girls had their hair natural and without chemicals on their scalp. Some products then (I don’t know about today) contained things such as mare estrogen. They don’t know if that is linked to girls going through puberty sooner.

Our oldest started with the typical little girl hairstyles which included braids, clips and sometimes headbands. It needed to be done at least weekly. As she got older and wanted something a little more grown-up, she had extensions which were easy to pull back, and she too didn’t worry about her hair.

Extensions were a perfect match for our oldest. Again, no chemicals on her head, no straightening and she was able to participate in everything without a thought given to her hair.

In late high school and college, the extensions came out and for the first time in her life, she got her hair permed and straightened. I figured it was her hair, for her to style as she wanted.

To come full circle, she has since come home from college, telling me about the neurotoxins and all the other toxins the hair products contain. She is now leaving her hair more natural and is looking into "zillions," a type of extension.

Her hair travels mimic where she is in her life. It tells a story.

So where is this hair story going? Well, Sesame Street just released a song called "I Love My Hair" (view it below). It has made grown women cry, kids smile and many of us wish it had come out sooner! It is akin to Disney finally having a black princess, Tiana (who my daughters will tell you does not have realistic hair).

We have been trying to send positive hair messages to our daughters forever. A story about loving what you have even though every message society sends is negative. That we need to straighten, use a flat iron, sit for hours, put chemicals on our head, and why? And when we do, are we falling right into the trap of accepting that truth, that this head of hair is not good hair and not as good as that head of hair or just plain bad unless we do something to it?

It used to make me mad that my little girls would have to be so preened before they could go out and play. I didn’t want them to be seen as unkept, but the kid down the street could look like she just crawled out of bed and no one would say a thing. I believe kids of color are judged more harshly about their appearances, so it doesn’t surprise me that people, generally mothers, go to great lengths so that their daughters are judged less harshly.

My wish is that at some point, there will not be the strict standards of beauty that exist for all little girls (and not to minimize an entire different set of standards that boys have to live up to). I hope more messages like the one from Sesame Street continue to come and girls of color everywhere are accepted for the way they are, with their textured, curly, dredded, natural hair.

I asked both of my daughters to read this article and give me permission to post this, as hair is very personal. They both consented. They both say there is not a day that goes by when they don't think about their hair.

And there is hardly a day when I do think about my hair.

Theresa Bassett is a parent to six children. Her passions are adoption, transracial and alternative families. Reach her at theresabassett1@hotmail.com.