Ok…I’m not sure what is going on exactly with my toddler, but I think she has a case of the “terrible one and a halfs."

This is bad in and of itself, but what’s worse is this “developmental phase” has caught me totally off guard. I am not ready for terrible toddlerhood!

I’m just now letting go of some of my colic rituals (even though it’s developmentally impossible, I still secretly fear it could come back!). Sophia is not even two, and for some time now, the constant disagreements, the ear piercing screams, the back-arching body on the floor antics and the raw assertions of her independence have been getting worse.

My oldest daughter never really went through the so-called “terrible twos.” My husband and I kept waiting, like she was programmed to go off any time after her second birthday. It never happened. When she was in her third year, I started to see some minor stuff, but all very textbook.

As I talked with other moms then, I began to hear a lot of the same; Twos were a breeze, threes are another story! So, we got through them and moved on, no harm done. Little did I know that before even thinking about my toddler’s second birthday, I would be trying to figure out a way just to get there in one piece.

After doing some research staying up way too late surfing the Web, I realize that the realm of “normal” (I try very hard not to use that word often) for terrible toddlerhood is quite large. Anytime after their first birthday all the way to four years old seems to be a window for insanely challenging times. I actually came across a “terrible twos” calculator: After inputting who knows what info about your child, it apparently gagues when your child will return to normal.

For obvious reasons I didn’t try it, but I have been persistently polling our friends and acquaintances who have two or more children about what age they thought was more difficult. After the expression on their face tells me they’ve tapped into those repressed memories, I notice there is always an immediate comparison amongst the kids, and most of them noticed a different age of onset, if you will.

Thankfully, it seems pretty standard that one child in a family may have the “terrible twos” (give or take a few months) and another had more of the “terrible threes.” Whatever difficult age you may be dealing with at this moment, take comfort in knowing that this challenging time will end!

In keeping with the old adage, “Misery loves company” please take a minute to weigh in on which age takes the cake in your opinion: twos or threes?

Sara Arsenault is a full time stay at home mother of two, a community volunteer and a contributor to the Parenting section of AnnArbor.com. She welcomes your comments at searsen@live.com .