The holiday cookie conspiracy: is it over the top?
Don’t get me wrong. I love cookies as much as the next girl. I like to bake, and I like to eat, and I’m happy to do my fair share. I believe cookie making is festive and heartwarming for those who bake and those who partake. But is there a point when too much is... too much?
When I moved to Michigan years ago, I quickly realized the Christmas cookie culture here was big. It feels like every woman worth her salt (except me) gives up a full weekend to make a zillion dozen of a myriad of different kinds of cookies for the world.
Where I grew up, some people — those who thrived on baking as their love language- did this, but not everyone. I do make batches to give as teacher or hostess gifts. I enjoy baking a few dozen for our church’s cookie walk fundraiser. I’ve learned to make extra for my family to enjoy at home, or I buy more at the cookie walk for a hefty sum. It’s for a good cause, after all.
But that’s not enough.
There’s the cookie parties. Everyone brings at least two, three or four dozen cookies to trade and share with everyone else. When it’s all done, you bring home a very small plate of assorted cookies. But where, pray tell, do all the other cookies go? Does every person at the party eat three dozen cookies? It’s a mystery to me.
And that’s not all.
We have all the church, school, and extracurricular cookie-driven events. Typically, the night before every event, someone sends an email requesting “just a couple dozen homemade cookies” as your admission ticket, plus a small, insignificant but witty, beautifully wrapped gift. No big deal. Just whip up a couple dozen from your perfectly stocked pantry or pull it out of the massive stash you prepared the day after Thanksgiving. Oh, you didn’t? Oh dear. Might want to think about that next year.
Then there’s the family.
When your children find you whipping up that last-minute batch, they’re crushed if there aren’t “just a couple dozen” to eat at home. So you make more... more... more to dial down the whining. Then your husband, who is trying to lose weight, doesn’t want a cookie in sight in fear that he’ll gobble them up in one sitting. So you conceal... stash... scarf the evidence to support his efforts, even though you’re jealous of his willpower. Because you’re nibbling “just one” of every tray coming out of the oven.
I think I’d have to make at least 20 dozen cookies to meet everyone’s demands requests, and it’s enough to put me over the edge. Please tell me, dear readers, who created this madness? Who eats all of these cookies, and how do we survive without them the rest of the year? I love cookies — I do — but I’d like to make them on my own terms. In the age of increasing obesity, over-the-top stress levels, and my own sllooowing metabolism, is this really the right approach? Or am I overreacting, becoming scrooge-like over "just a couple dozen" cookies?
Never mind, don’t answer that. If I have to ask, I already know the answer.
Step away from the oven, sister. Just say no to the cookie conspiracy.
After sharing her thoughts, Pam Stout hasn’t been invited to any cookie parties and is beginning to feel the urge to bake or nibble, she’s not quite sure. She’ll get around to it, but for now she plans to pick up a few dozen at the First United Methodist Church Cookie Walk on Saturday, December 12th. Read more of her rants at BeyondJustMom or email her at pam@beyondjustmom.com.
Comments
citrus
Wed, Dec 9, 2009 : 11:15 p.m.
I've been making many dozens of holiday cookies with a friend for the last 20 years. The "old world" nutty-short bready kind. Every year, I pretend to be surpised at how little flour and eggs it takes, and how many pounds of butter we use. How do we survive the rest of the year without these cookies? Well, if we had them year-round, we WOULDN'T survive until the next butter fest. Margarine, splenda, and Oreo 100 calorie packs are the conspiracy...these cookies are a way of cutting loose. Or at least loosening your belt.
djm12652
Wed, Dec 9, 2009 : 4:15 p.m.
In our family, the "special" boxes of goodies from all of us to each other is one of our fondest events, even though my sister's peanut marshmallow cookie bars are better than mine...
Paul the Malcontent
Wed, Dec 9, 2009 : 4:02 p.m.
Date Correction for the cookie walk: Saturday is December 12.
Sarah
Wed, Dec 9, 2009 : 3:39 p.m.
I love baking cookies at Christmas time. I'm not sure why that is. That said, I can see when it becomes an obligation rather than a sense of fun how it turns in to Yet Another Holiday Chore. In years past, my husband and I would bake cookies and we would mail them off to our single guy friends, share them with our coworkers, or stash them in the freezer for those grey January days. I imagine, if I lived near my family, we'd probably all have a cookie baking day. This year, I'm on crutches so it's been postponed until 2010. Sure, I'm disappointed, but since I'm on crutches, I might as well just glue the cookies to my hips!
Pam Stout
Wed, Dec 9, 2009 : 2:18 p.m.
I'm so glad to hear how many of you truly enjoy the baking extravaganza. Could you send just a few dozen my way? I'm happy to trade when I get around to baking mine!
spm
Wed, Dec 9, 2009 : 1:36 p.m.
The only time I bake is around Christmas. For me it gets me in the holiday mood and also allows me to make cheap, editable gifts to family members who say they don't want anything for Christmas. My co-worker has just been invited to a cookie exchange party and she isn't looking forward to it just because baking cookies is a requirement to attend. I think that's the big difference. Everyone should bake cookies because they want to, not because they have to. Pam, perhaps it's all the snow around here at Christmas that makes people want to bake more than in less snowy areas. Who knows?
Mary Bilyeu
Wed, Dec 9, 2009 : 1:30 p.m.
I already have about a dozen varieties of cookies in my freezer, with an equal amount still pending; these are my annual gift to loved ones, rather than more "stuff" that people need even less than they need the calories. I don't know who started this tradition, but I am a willing co-conspirator! Anyone can walk into a dollar store and buy a candle and a card; but how many people will take requests and bake your favorite cookies for you, the ones that you cherish at the holidays??? Cookies truly are a language of love....
EngineeringMom
Wed, Dec 9, 2009 : 1:12 p.m.
I love to bake, and Christmas is a perfect opportunity to bake without keeping all the goodies at our house to tempt us. However, there is something special about being able to walk out onto the screen porch and sneak a treat. We're all willing to brave the cold in our stocking feet for a decorated sugar cookie or a 7 layer bar. Its part of the Christmas tradition at our house!
David Briegel
Wed, Dec 9, 2009 : 12:32 p.m.
My family sent me cookie tins when I was in the army. What a special treat that I shared with the other guys! Wonderful!
treetowncartel
Wed, Dec 9, 2009 : 12:32 p.m.
My wife's family has refined this process. They set aside a cookie day in December and all the players come to the table to help in the process. Good times!
Heather Heath Chapman
Wed, Dec 9, 2009 : 11:24 a.m.
I read this story while I was--no kidding--making fudge that must be *stirred constantly* on the stove. Love the idea of baking as a love language.