The kids are alright? Music, children and choice, part 1
Truthfully, what I want is for my kids to rock out.
Rock has been my music of choice since I heard “Kiss Alive” on 8-track at age 6. No, before that: listening to my dad's Elvis and Beach Boys records. Listening to the Beatles' “Can't Buy Me Love” on the old-school equivalent of endless repeat (i.e., lifting the needle off the record and replacing it at the beginning of the song). I discovered the heavy metal band Iron Maiden in fourth grade, and my life was never the same.
Of course, part of the charm was that I discovered Iron Maiden without my parents' input (and yes, there were Maiden albums my mom refused to let me buy, however hard I begged in the K-Mart music aisle). So I know that, with my own kids, I'm probably trying too hard. As it happens, Iron Maiden was once Zoe's favorite band too. That is, five years ago. When she was 3. And yet, I can't stop myself from playing “the purple monster song” (as she once called it) and telling her, “Listen, this used to be your favorite!” As if she'll drop her Percy Jackson novel and shout, “Rock on, Dad!”
Instead, she'll probably grow up to embrace techno or young country or whatever she discovers that drives nails through her dad's skull. Even now, when I reach for the Iron Maiden — or Radiohead for that matter, or Prokofiev — what I'm most likely to hear from both daughters is: “Awwww! Can't we listen to some kid music?”
And there it is. The horrifying truth. Despite all my efforts, the music my children crave most is that which is designed and packaged exclusively for them. “Kid music.” I can't outsmart the marketers, or developmental psychology, or whatever force draws children to mushy pop and chipmunk voices. I can't outrun the relatives and friends who, in their kindness, give us “Toddler Favorites” and "Kidz Bop" and “High School Musical 3.” Before today's Radiohead car ride, what did I play to keep the girls happy while I worked in the garage? “Berry Merry Christmas,” by Strawberry Shortcake.
It's their favorite CD for any season. I get the songs stuck in my head. Some days I cross through my kitchen, singing, “That girl's so sweet, just like her name, Straw-buh-bah-bah-buh-berry, Shortcake!” When this happens, a part of my psyche congratulates me for giving myself over to my children's experiences and loves. The other part flogs me for being a numskull. I think both parts have a point. Meanwhile, I smile with the kids and set their lunches before them. I keep my feet moving, and try not to decide whether that means I'm actually dancing.Stay tuned for parts 2 and 3: Hypothesized giants to the rescue, and the invention of the “Fun CD!”
Scott Beal is a stay-at-home dad whose songs about monsters are available at the Liberty Street Robot Supply and Repair Shop.
Comments
Scott Beal
Thu, Aug 13, 2009 : 11:11 a.m.
Jen -- I hadn't checked them out but just found their myspace page: http://www.myspace.com/candyband.
Scott Beal
Wed, Aug 12, 2009 : 7:54 a.m.
Julie -- the family CD is a great idea. We've done something similar with mixes (details in an upcoming blog post) but I love the overt democracy of letting everyone pick their share of songs. mwest -- I guess we must have faith that once the Wiggles fall away, Harry Belafonte will still be there.
mwest22
Wed, Aug 12, 2009 : 6:36 a.m.
Great story. I, too, thought my kids would have at least interesting musical tastes as my son invited others to come in and listen to Harry Belafante. But now he's discovered the Wiggles, and, unfortunately, there's an endless supply at the library.
Julie
Tue, Aug 11, 2009 : 4:02 p.m.
A friend of ours gave us a copy of their "family CD." They make a new one every year. Every person in the family gets to choose 1/4 of the songs that go on the CD (there are 4 of them). The result is fabulous, ranging from Raffi to bluegrass to rock.... It makes for great car music, cuz you don't have to listen to a whole CD of kid music, and they get exposed to the stuff you like at high enough frequency that they start liking it too. And the CD itself is positively bipolar. In a good way.
Scott Beal
Tue, Aug 11, 2009 : 10:06 a.m.
Thanks for the comments, everyone. I see that several of us have had to strike a balance between the music we love and the music we can't stop our kids from loving. Does that Chuck Berry quote suggest that the kids listen to Kidz Bop (or Barney, or Diego) specifically to drive us nuts? Hmmm.
ResidentAnvil
Mon, Aug 10, 2009 : 3:38 p.m.
My kids love to bang their heads to punk/rock/heavy metal. All are under the age of six. Currently we are working through the Ramones.
Adam
Mon, Aug 10, 2009 : 1:33 p.m.
I think it's really funny that your daughter's favorite band when she was three was Iron Maiden. Most kids don't really listen to a large variety of music.... No matter what people listen to, though, I think it's great if it's a broad range, and from all over the world. You might be a better person for having listened to the Strawberry Shortcake album.....
eDWeiRD
Mon, Aug 10, 2009 : 11:19 a.m.
I'll never forget the following quote from Chuck Berry, "If your parents are listening to it, it ain't doing it's job." I think this may be why I never wanted children and enjoy other peoples more. It's the sadist in me rearing it's ugly head. Maybe by the time they're 24 they'll appreciate Iron Maiden as much as we do.
Mike
Mon, Aug 10, 2009 : 10:38 a.m.
My son currently flops between Cream's Sunshine Of Your Love, White Stripes' Seven Nation Army, and the Go Diego Go Theme. And when I reference these songs I do so to state that he sings the rhythm to these songs as loud as he can. He is 4.
Heather Heath Chapman
Mon, Aug 10, 2009 : 9:23 a.m.
Cool story. When my kids were little, they loved Kid Rock and "Barney Christmas."