The Wings were eaten by Sharks, the Pistons cleaned out their lockers weeks ago. The Lions won’t do anything interesting for months and the Tigers aren’t even a fifth of the way through the marathon baseball season. What sport can capture America’s heart (or at least Washtenaw County’s) until the real stuff resumes? Kickball, that’s what!

For the second year in a row, I have succumbed to peer pressure and joined a kickball league. Last year, it was the fledgling nonprofit kickball league where I played for Onward Robots, representing 826michigan. We had a rocky campaign with losses to a hyper-competitive Red Cross team and a five-person YMCA squad but ended the season with a thumping of the Neutral Zone collective (take that other do-gooders!).

This year, I was drafted into the Ann Arbor municipal league AKA The Show. A friend who played on the team last year asked me to fill a roster spot and since I have nothing better to do with my Wednesday nights from now until August, I paid my registration fee, picked a name for my team shirt and began carbo-loading. I am now a proud member of Kicking the Habit and my nickname is Chicken Wings. Let’s roll!

(Sometimes I don't write about kickball)

Playing for the Habits is going to be a little bit different than playing third base for Onward Robots. Last season, our team captain emailed to remind us each week that we had a game and that we didn’t need baseball gloves. This year, team captain Thor (not his actual name) included a link to a blog with kickball strategies along with the season schedule. We’re going to hold practice tonight before the season opener on Wednesday. We’re going to play music when we go up to kick (OK, that’s pretty cool - here’s my song). It’s pretty professional. I’m a little afraid to make a mistake.

The recruiting coordinator for Kicking the Habit warned me that the league we play in can be kind of competitive. Last year’s version of the Habits and another squad, Hells Bells, were big rivals in 2009. Guess which team we play in the opener? HELLS BELLS!?! Of the 10 teams in the league, six have punny kickball team names (Just For Kicks, Red Balls, Shiver Me Kickers) while of the four others, Bedroom Mastadons (sic) seems like a team I could go out for hamburgers with.

The Author / File Photo

I’ve got a decent track record of rec league softball. I wrote about my illegal softball playing last summer but my kickball resume is a lot thinner. I am the son of a former semi-professional soccer player and I own some adorable pictures of me playing youth league soccer (Beatles haircut and all) but I like to kick the ball hard, not bunt or place my boots. Apparently this is bad.

We’ll see how things look at practice tonight. I’m going to wear short shorts and long socks and let the chips fall where they may. I’ll try and play third base but I’ll be happy to see the field at all.

Come on out to Field #3 at Vet’s Park in Ann Arbor on Wednesday night and cheer on the stocky fella with “Chicken Wings” in white script of the back of his blue t-shirt. Hell, cheer us all on. We’ll need it against the ex-cons and puppy punchers of Hells Bells.

Richard Retyi tries not to hurt himself when he competes in contests of athletic skill. He generally succeeds. If you have a kickball team in the Wednesday night Vet’s Park league, fear us. If you have any stories of your own recreational athletic prowess, please share them at richretyi@gmail.com. It would be nice to know I’m not alone.