OMG! The best of 2010 in Ann Arbor and elsewhere
Wow, it’s been a crazy year. Am I right? I mean, New Year’s day. The day after that. The day after THAT. This morning. Phew. It’s time to take a step back and reflect on the best of 2010.
Winner: Lucky Kitchen (1753 Plymouth Road) The General Tso, Chicken Lo Mein and Crab Cheese are divine.
Winner: Lucky Kitchen (1753 Plymouth Road) See above.
Winner: Jan. 1, 5:40 p.m. during the Rose Bowl
Best Community Hero
Winner: Andy Garris. The proprietor of the Elbow Room (6 South Washington, Ypsilanti) hosted the four-day music festival Mittenfest that raised over $12,000 for 826 Michigan (115 East Liberty).
Winner: (tie) Gonzo Retyi and Dweezil Stardust Smith (who’s a good kitty? WHO’S a good kitty?)
Best Sports Moment
Winner: Bobby Bowden, 80 year-old head coach of the Florida Seminoles plunging a flaming spear into a corporate logo at midfield prior to his final game as head coach (Jan. 1).
Honorable Mention: Buffalo Bills vs. Indianapolis Colts in a blizzard (Jan. 3).
Best TV Episode
Winner: My Shocking Story: My Giant Head (TLC)
Best Celebrity Dad Tattoo
Winner: Michael Lohan (father of Lindsay Lohan)
Winner: Lil’ Bow Wow driving drunk on New Year’s night - “Face numb im whippin the lambo. Tipsy as fu**. Just left @livmiami”
Honorable Mention: Fred Durst in the studio- “Got a new song looping on pro tools. Gotta write this hook!! Give me some inspiration!!”
Winner: Cheddar Explosion of Texas Stadium. Kraft Foods will hold a national essay contest with the winner getting to trigger the public demolition of the old Dallas Cowboys’ stadium.
Best AnnArbor.com Headline
Winner: An Ann Arbor Yeti policeman hot on the trail of a fleeing snowmobiler becomes department legend - http://www.annarbor.com/news/snow-tracks-the-yeti-policeman/
Best El Universal Headline (Major Mexican Newspaper)
Winner: Hole in the Moon could accommodate human
Best Celebrity Scandal
Winner: Music producer Shawty Redd (Demetrius Lee Stewart) charged with murder
Honorable Mention: Matthew Broderick gets a haircut
Best Facebook Status Update
Winner: “I hate train barf.”
Honorable Mention: “Hi. I'm in Delaware.”
Best Party Store
Winner: Main Party Store AKA The Russians (201 North Main Street)
Winner: Acura 2004
Honorable Mention: 1998 Volvo S70 (the steering is pulling to the left lately)
Winner: District 9 (watched on New Year’s day night). Better aliens than Avatar and a meaner, badass military villain as well.
Honorable Mention: The Road. So. Depressing.
Finally, for your benefit, I used the supercomputers at AnnArbor.com to run 10,000 simulations of what would be hot in the coming year. It spit out the following Hot List. Study and enjoy.
Gremlins Diet, Creed’s comeback tour, America falling out of love with Bradley Cooper, hating Jack Black, camoflauge Crocs, ice beer, BK Big Fish sandwich, naming your baby Al, leprechauns, native American folklore, tattoos of squids and octopi, Cash for Silver, Welland (Ontario), living in caves, bacon vodka, sideburns, genoa salami, untied shoelaces, the three-man weave, Tron, Alan Thicke.
(Richard Retyi wants to thank all of you for making 2010 a most memorable year. Email him at firstname.lastname@example.org to share your "Best of 2010" lists, or ask him how he gets his bean dip juuuussssssttt right.)