My Father, my God: Relationships are not built by a formula
God is as dynamic as His people; we were created in His image after all, so why do we so often think that God is in a box and only a certain key will let us come near Him?
Alaine Reichle | Contributor
ACTS: Adoration, confession, thanksgiving and supplication. This is how I was taught to pray. A teacher of mine in grade school told my class that unless a prayer had these four aspects it wasn’t a prayer. Then she had the audacity to grade us on it. As if our personal prayers or those spoken in front of a class could be graded, given a ‘good’ or ‘bad,’ a ‘yes’ or ‘no.' As if the way I spoke to my Father had anything to do with her.
Friday Night Live is a time we have for our Senior High students. We get together at the church at 7 p.m. and end about 10 p.m. It largely based around fellowship and evangelism. We do a lot of games at FNL, and on Feb. 5 we went to the Zap Zone on Boardwalk near the Briarwood Mall. All we did that night was play laser tag and spend time with each other. It was a few days before one of the leaders' birthdays and one of the kids even made cupcakes that looked exactly like spaghetti - he’s very talented.
That entire night was just about being with each other. It was about playing. There was no specific way I had to speak to them for them to hear me, no steps I had to follow to get them to like me. Being with these kids and interacting with them wasn’t a formula. Building a relationship with them isn’t a five-step plan, it’s not a puzzle I have to solve. My relationship with God isn’t like that either.
My favorite book is Searching for God Knows What by Donald Miller. In this amazing book Miller talks about relationships and formulas, about faith and how we treat it like a process. He says:
 “Some would say formulas are how we interact with God, that going through motions and jumping through hoops are how a person acts out his spirituality. This method of interaction, however, seems odd to me because if I want to hang out with my friend Tuck, I don’t stomp my foot three times, turn around and say his name over and over like a mantra, lighting candles and getting myself in a certain mood. I just call him. In this way, formulas presuppose God is more a computer or a circus monkey than an intelligent Being. I realize that sounds harsh, but it is true.”
To talk to my God, my Father, I don’t need to say certain words, or make sure my prayer has certain things. If I smile at my fiancé he knows I’m happy or I’m telling him I appreciate him. God is the same way. I can talk to God in a song, or a smile or a sigh. God is as dynamic as His people; we were created in His image after all, so why do we so often think that God is in a box and only a certain key will let us come near Him?
My God is a big, powerful, encompassing God and to think that I need to take steps to build a relationship with Him, I think, would be insulting to Him. He’s not a slot machine that I put a quarter in and wish for the best, or a pet I train to do my bidding, or a stuffed animal there to only comfort me when I’m sad. He’s like my best friend; He’s just as unique, quirky, and deep as she is. There’s a reason He likens our relationship to Him in the Bible to a marriage. Marriages are entirely relational. Yes, they’re work, but they’re a blessing. I want my faith to be like a marriage, not a board game.
Alaine Reichle
Comments
David Marshall
Fri, Feb 26, 2010 : 5:04 p.m.
"To talk to my God, my Father, I dont need to say certain words, or make sure my prayer has certain things... I can talk to God in a song, or a smile or a sigh. " -the article I'm at a loss. How is this unBiblical? This wasn't an article about coming to faith. It is an article about a Christian who is delighted that she can just talk to God and enjoy his presence without having to stand on ceremony. Biblical support for this abounds*. When you started arguing against cheap grace and defending Jesus as the one way, I think you changed the subject. Nowhere in the article was there an argument for free sin, cheap grace, or licentiousness. I'd like to know what line in the article (in the article, not the Title please) you thought was so wrong. As I read it, nowhere in this article is there anything to say that Christians don't go through Jesus to get the Father. Where did you read that? Yeah certain things go into a healthy relationship, and certain things don't. You might call that a formula; I wouldn't. If relationships were formulaic Im sure you could make billions explaining what 3 things you must do to produce love between two individuals. You can do all the 'right things' and still have missed out on a relationship. If I have not love, then I am nothing. I'm still pushing for the "we don't understand each other" angle. Please let me know if we actually understand each other perfectly, and you really and honestly believe that there's a formula for getting God to listen to you and do what you want. *some of that Biblical support* David Dancing before the Lord 2 Samuel 6:14 The existence of the Psalms Christian worship isn't done in the temple John 4:23 The apostles pray prayers other than the Lord's prayer Acts 4:23-
David Marshall
Thu, Feb 25, 2010 : 2:20 p.m.
Hey this is neat: The Book of Galatians is about this argument. The Galatians were all "We gotta work to get to God" And Paul was like: "You entered God's family by faith, are you seriously going to stop relying on that faith and rely on your own work? Do remember how you received God's Spirit? Was it by work or by Faith? How is 'Work real hard' a gospel at all? Let me further distinguish the promise from the law...." and then he does. Good stuff. Galatians 3 has this especially well put.
David Marshall
Thu, Feb 25, 2010 : 2:08 p.m.
I'm not sure what you're arguing at this point. Of course grace isn't a license to sin. I'm not sure why you felt the need to clarify on that point. No one has said it was. You seem preoccupied with judgment, and I'm afraid this misrepresents Christianity. The Philippians verse you've quoted about "working out your salvation with fear and trembling" is completely out of context. It was written to a group of people who were being encouraged to live holy lives in order to reach their community with their witness. If there is any doubt about this, please look to just the next chapter (3) of the letter, where Paul says that he places no confidence in his works, that his attempts to keep the commands of the law are rubbish compared to knowing Christ, and that he now has a righteousness that is not from the Law but from Faith. No grace isn't a license to sin. God still hates sin. There is not a question among us about that. Yes Jesus will judge the world, and that is a terrifying thought for the unsure, but not for the believer. A crowd once asked Jesus what one must do to being doing the Work of God. Jesus answered that the Work of God is to believe in the one God has sent. (John 6:28-29) God hates sin, and I'll be doing everything I can to rid it from my life until the last day. On that last day when Jesus will judge the world, there will be two kinds of people who followed a religion: those who believed that His sacrifice earned their redemption, and those who thought that they could be "good enough" by working at it real hard. The latter will have rejected Christs sacrifice by putting their hope in their works instead of in his. I hope I work harder to be holy than anyone, but I will never rely on that work.
David Marshall
Sat, Feb 20, 2010 : 12:33 p.m.
You're very right to say that Jesus came to fulfill the commandments; he did so perfectly. That is why his sacrifice can forgive sins. I hope I'll never be quoted as saying that men and women no longer ought to keep God's commandments. I hope I will be frequently quoted as saying that our relationship to God no longer relies on our keeping the commandments. There is a religion that relies on its followers ability to keep the Laws of Exodus and Deuteronomy. That religion, as I understand it, is Judaism, not Christianity. The law is only a shadow of the good things that are comingnot the realities themselves. For this reason it can never, by the same sacrifices repeated endlessly year after year, make perfect those who draw near to worship. If it could, would they not have stopped being offered? For the worshipers would have been cleansed once for all, and would no longer have felt guilty for their sins.... But when this priest (Jesus) had offered for all time one sacrifice for sins... -Hebrews 10:1-4 & 11 You are also perfectly right is saying that repentance and baptism result in salvation. I think our dispute is about the source of repentance and baptism. Where does repentance come from? Who does the work of Baptism? I dont give myself enough credit to be able to repent. If I could, out of my own virtue, turn from sin and do what is right; what good would Jesus be to be? God can work repentance in me, and he has.
David Marshall
Fri, Feb 19, 2010 : 3:05 p.m.
My understanding is that a formula is something like: "If I do 'a', then 'b' will result" That is what I think religions usually are; man does "a" so that God will do "b". Here I think Christianity is different from most religions. When I ask what I can do to get God to love me I find, "You can do nothing, he loves you already" (John 3:16). When I ask how I can be forgiven I am answered, "Have faith in Jesus who died for you"(John 6:29) When I ask how I can have faith I am answered "The Holy Spirit works faith in you by the Word of God(1 Cor 12:3)" So if I am forgiven it is because of my faith. If I have faith it is because God gave it to me. If I ask, "why?" I'm left with "He loves you." And I am back where I started. This is what the Lutherans call GRACE, and I used to find it very frusterating because I wanted a religious formula. I wanted to do "a" so God would have to do "b", but my God is not like that. God redeemed me, in spite of me, without any special cooperation except that I stop refusing the faith he offers and trying to do it on my own. "Winning" is not done by Christians. Winning was done by Jesus. I'm not playing the game of religion anymore, but celebrating in Grace and sharing it with as many as we can. http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Romans%203:21-26&version=NIV
David Marshall
Thu, Feb 18, 2010 : 4:54 p.m.
We do have access to the Father through the Son, but I would not call that a formula. That is God's work not mine. Though I was once separated from God by my sin, Christ took my punishment and cleansed me from my sin. Certainly I came to the father through Christ alone, but if I am in Christ I am a new creation (1 Cor 5:17). Under the old covenant sacrifices were offered continually for the sins of the people. People were in need of a priest to go for them into God's just and holy presence. My priest is Christ, he went into the presence of God and offered himself as a sacrifice once. Nothing can now divide me from God my father. When Jesus died the curtain separating the Most Holy place literally split in half so that all would now have access, by Christ, into God's presence. God is personal. God is knowable. We don't meet him because of any ceremony or practice of our own, but because he gave his son and now invited us into his new life. This is plenty Lutheran. There is one way to come to the Father, you are correct. That way is not accomplished by my effort or by yours, but only by Christ's sacrifice. We need no other sacrifice, offering, or rite in order to be heard in prayer. Under the old covenant sacrifices were offered continually for the sins of the people. People were in need of a priest to go for them into God's just and holy presence. My priest is Christ, he went into the presence of God and offered himself as a sacrifice once. Nothing can now divide me from God my father. When Jesus died the curtain seperating the Most Holy place literally split in half so that all would now have access, by Christ, into God's presence. God is personal. God is knowable. We don't meet him because of any ceremony or practice of our own, but because he gave his son and now invited us into his new life. This is plently Lutheran. There is one way to come to the Father, you are correct. That way is not acomplished by my effort or by yours, but only by Christ's sacrifice. We need no other sacrifice, offering, or rite in order to be heared in prayer.