Whenever my mother and I talk about anything related to contraception, pregnancy, or even the Catholic Church, she loves to recount a story regarding a friend of her mother’s who was a Catholic woman. This woman happened to use a diaphragm as a means of contraception, which she mentioned to a pastor during her admissions within a confessional.

Unfortunately, the pastor did not react with compassion.

“That is a device of the devil!” he bellowed, aghast. “You must rid yourself of it at once!”

“All right, I will,” she replied thoughtfully. “But I’ll just go out and buy another one.”

My mother inevitably roars with laughter at this story. And I do too, even though I want to punch that pastor … and high five the woman for her undaunted demeanor and honesty.

Even though this is amusing, these sorts of stories do frustrate me. There are other anecdotes like this which some use as their motive for disdain of the Catholic Church and its advocacy of natural means of handling fertility. It is correct to say that the Catholic Church does not agree with artificial contraception, but it is incorrect to say that it does this for no reason other than to control the parishioners and ensure that each woman produces at least a moderately sized squalling battalion of offspring before menopause hits. Allow me to say with complete sincerity that I am an advocate of the Catholic Church’s stance on life and contraception; however, I do not advocate the cranky pastors that yell at women in confessionals. There exist pastors who do not have a good bedside manner; however, there are just as many, if not more, who promote what the Catholic Church teaches with intelligence and compassion, not to mention an indoor voice.

Regardless of how poorly the truth is communicated, or how many Catholics do not follow the tenets of their faith, I do not believe that this negates the validity of the truth. In this case, that truth is about the betterment of the human person by avoiding artificial contraception. When I became Catholic five years ago, as enthusiastic as I was to be within a church I felt was the truth, I also was dubious as to the effectiveness of this method of family planning — which prompted visions of myself as a heavily stretch-marked and saggy 30-year-old with 10 children.

The general population and many members of the health care field question natural family planning as an effective form of birth control, and needless to say, my Lutheran mother wasn’t a fan. Five years later, after many of my close friends marrying and practicing it themselves as a means to delay pregnancy, and after becoming a little more versed in the theological ramifications behind the Church’s stance, I have to say I agree with it and love it much more than I ever thought I would. My fiancé and I recently attended our first natural family planning class, which is part of the standard engagement protocol at our church, Christ the King. These classes, a series of one class per month for three months taught by a couple experienced in the method, instructs other couples (Catholic and non-Catholic; are all welcome) how to track the woman’s monthly ovulation. Although there are several methods of natural family planning that are practiced, the sympto-thermal method has been largely found as the most accurate in terms of defining all the days a woman could potentially conceive. This is different than other older methods that were practiced, like the rhythm method that pays more attention to chronology rather than physical evidence of ovulation. The sympto-thermal method involves charting the various biological signs of potential fertility, basal body temperature and other more intimate signs (discharge, etc.) that the woman tracks herself. To practice it correctly, at least as a beginner, it is a daily task to take note of these symptoms and chart them on specialized graphs that help pinpoint the days when conception could occur, and if her aim is to postpone pregnancy, not have sex during her fertile days. It is important to note that this method works the best when the woman is not on any type of medication that might alter her hormones from their natural cycle, other than vitamin supplements to help regulate them. So, it’s an involved method. It’s much more work that a condom or a pill. And it does require more communication between the couple, as it remains an ongoing conversation whether pregnancy is going to be an outcome of a potential interlude. It’s also cheaper than any form of artificial contraception, as nothing is used or required to do it correctly other than paper charts (which you could make yourself) and a thermometer.

This method could also be considered environmentally beneficial since nothing is being used and disposed of. The possible argument one might make saying that this method may simply create more children, therefore creating more people to use resources and pollute the environment, is incorrect. If a couple is dedicated to using this method as a means to postpone pregnancy and practices self-control during the woman’s fertile periods, then in the vast majority of cases, a baby will not result. It’s also a help to those trying to conceive, and could, in some cases, rid them of the need for fertility supplements or procedures that she might have undergone with no knowledge of her cycle. Some may consider this method a huge and unnecessary nuisance when it comes to handling one’s fertility. As I’ve studied more about it and have come to a place in my life where I’m going to be using it, I love the fact that the Catholic Church sees the female cycle, my cycle, as something to be honored, studied, understood, and treated with dignity. I love the fact that I am following a practice that opens up communication between partners and helps men understand the complexity and beauty of what a woman’s body does through the month. It involves both partners in the act of managing fertility together, as opposed to just one partner taking a pill or wearing a barrier, or both participating but with no necessary communication.

I also am very much in support of the Catholic theology of the body that supports this method, much of which is from Pope John Paul II’s biblically founded encyclical on that topic, and very articulately explained by Catholic author Christopher West. Some might say that because the pope did not have a female cycle and was a celibate priest, he is not a credible source when it comes to the topic of fertility and sexuality. Many Catholics would argue that a man immersed in the study of God himself, creator of sexuality and fertility, would be a good source in delving into the complexity, interconnectedness, and beauty of sex, babies, couples and why these things are good without manipulation. The Catholic Church upholds the idea that the human person is a deeply elaborate being with a means of reproduction that is profound and sacred. A sexual act is not simply an act of carnal behavior; it is the one act that intertwines the physical, emotional, and spiritual elements of two humans that bond them and create new life. It reiterates the idea that every human has value beyond enumeration; and the acts that we do to propel life are multifaceted, beautiful, and incredible in its original state. Some say that it is oppressive for the Catholic Church to say that artificial contraception is not the best way to handle fertility. Obviously it is not inherently wrong for a woman to pursue medical means of regulating her hormones if she has problems with her natural levels, and the Catholic Church agrees. But in terms of fertility, I have found despite my prior dubiousness, that the Catholic Church supports natural means of achieving or postponing pregnancy in respect of the beauty and sacredness of the human being, and to help propel the practices that truly benefit individuals, couples, and families. I embrace this method as a way for couples to truly enjoy sex without barriers, a means for women to be able to maintain their goals involving reproduction without changing their natural hormone levels, and a way to have knowledge about one’s body. Despite the more involved nature of the practice, and some of the crankier priests that support it, I believe it as something true, beautiful, and a profound means of partaking in human sexuality.