Prayerful parenting: teaching our kids to talk to God
Do you find it difficult to talk to your kids about God -- or to teach them how to talk to God? Many parents do. It may be because we don't always feel as connected to God ourselves as we would like. Other times, we just regard spirituality as something personal and private -- or, alternatively, something to "leave to the professionals." And yet, as parents we are our children's first and most important teachers. Each day we show them life's mysteries, including (and perhaps especially) issues of faith.
It can be delightful to watch the lessons catch on. One of my favorite parenting memories is a simple family dinner when my daughter was about 4 years old. Over Italian sausage and spinach quiche, we bowed our heads and thanked the good Lord.
God is great, God is good Let us thank Him for this food; by His hands we all are fed, Thank you, God, for daily bread. Amen.
Just as I started to pinch off a bit of the crust (my favorite part), 4-year-old Sarah spoke. "Now I wanna say special grace."
I had offered a prayer like this the day before, when extended family gathered to celebrate the completion of our new deck. "OK, Sarah. Go ahead ... "
"Thank you God for ... for sausage and Popeye spinach ..." There was more. Lots more, much of it unintelligible as Sarah conversed with the Almighty with her own special prayer language.
My husband opened one eye and looked at me as if to say, "Can we eat yet?"
"... and thanks for everybody here. In the Name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, Amen!"
Everyone breathed a sigh of relief and started to dig in. Then, just as I started to take a bite of my rapidly cooling sausage, Sarah spoke again. "Can I say another one?"
Christopher's sour expression reminded me of the time he shoved a jalapeno up his nose.
Now, Christopher’s reaction was doubtless prompted by hunger than a lack of faith. At the age of 6, Christopher already has a firmly entrenched faith. I’ll never forget the time I found Christopher handing out Cheez-It crackers, one at a time, to his preschool friends, intoning "The Body of Christ, the Body of Christ." At that moment, he looked like he needed a handful of those cheesy little crackers, so I intervened.
"Let's save it for bedtime -- or for supper tomorrow night, OK Sarah?"
Still, I had to smile at my daughter’s first unprompted extemporaneous prayer offering. It's those unguarded moments when we are reminded how closely our children watch us, and how thirsty they are to know what you REALLY believe so they can incorporate it into their own little lives.
These daily encounters with God, over time, produce a symphony of grace in family life, drawing us closer to each other as we grow closer to God . . . together.
Heidi Hess Saxton is a contributing writer to the AnnArbor.com "Parenting" channel and the founder of "Extraordinary Moms Network," a faith-based online resource for parents of adopted, foster, and special-needs children. You can reach her at heidi.hess.saxton@gmail.com.
Comments
kesey
Wed, Sep 1, 2010 : 2:32 a.m.
@Heidi I don't think anything is "beyond reason". Just because we can't understand it now doesn't mean there isn't reason behind it. Thousands of years ago people made up ridiculous stories to explain fire or thunder, and although back then they didn't have the ability to find the reason in it, it makes sense to us now. Also the fact that you have chosen to follow a "god" does not prove his existence either.
Heidi Hess Saxton
Tue, Aug 17, 2010 : 6:24 p.m.
@Tom: Reason tells us that there ARE many facets of life that are beyond reason and beyond our own control. That is fact, not faith. Neither should faith be confused with imagination -- one is a gift from God, the other a component of human intellect. The fact that you have chosen to turn away from God, does not disprove his existence any more than a sulky teenager who cannot bring himself to acknowledge his parents in public. I'm sorry that you have burdened yourself in this way. In the words of St. Augustine, "Thou hast made us for Thyself, and our hearts are restless till they rest in You." God bless you!
Tom Wilkinson
Tue, Aug 17, 2010 : 11:51 a.m.
Sorry, Ebeth. Einstein was at worst a deist. Here is a better quote: "It was, of course, a lie what you read about my religious convictions, a lie which is being systematically repeated. I do not believe in a personal God and I have never denied this but have expressed it clearly. If something is in me which can be called religious then it is the unbounded admiration for the structure of the world so far as our science can reveal it." -- Albert Einstein, 1954, from Albert Einstein: The Human Side, edited by Helen Dukas and Banesh Hoffman, Princeton University Press It has never been clear to me why 'faith' is seen as a virtue; believing something without evidence is a cognitive flaw, and to encourage such a worldview in our children is tantamount to child abuse. Religionists cripple their children by devaluing the highest human attribute which is an empirical, critical, and rational evaluation of the world around them. Fairies, pixies, gods, demons, witches, prayers - all are in the imagination. For a parent to tell a child, 'yes, there are supernatural forces which control your life, and you and I are powerless before them' - what a message!
Heidi Hess Saxton
Tue, Aug 17, 2010 : 9:41 a.m.
Thanks, ladies, for your thoughts on this important subject. As parents, we need all the encouragement we can get. It's the most important job in the world -- and faith is essential!
Mary-Eileen
Tue, Aug 17, 2010 : 8:45 a.m.
Excellent article! Yes, children have an innate thirst for God that when not fed seeks the false gods of cynicism and despair. As always, Heidi, you and your family inspire me!
Ebeth
Tue, Aug 17, 2010 : 7:34 a.m.
Peace and Joy, all coming from our creator, whatever name you know Him as is a divine gift. There is hardly a thing on earth that randomly came into being, even the greatest scientists knew that, Einstein, for one. To teach one's charges to reach out to a greater thing than themselves is both loving and divine. It gives peace and joy a chance to grow. For those who have become bitter, angry, and down-right in denial of this great divine God, as Deuteronomy 32:21 says: "Since they have provoked me with their 'no-god' and angered me with their vain idols, I will provoke them with a 'no-people'; with a foolish nation I will anger them. There will always be an empty place in one without prayer, it's not always obvious, but it's there. Thank you, Heidi, for your peace and joy in all your writing!
Heidi Hess Saxton
Mon, Aug 16, 2010 : 2:07 p.m.
Thanks, Chris and Rikka, for taking time to write!
Riikka
Mon, Aug 16, 2010 : 12:24 p.m.
We experience the power of God through prayer. As my son is quite sensitive, he used to be easily disturbed by things he heard or saw. When he had something bothering him, not giving him peace of mind, he would come to me for prayer. I used ask God's peace to rule his mind - with immediate results. And there came the time he told me that he can do it himself - and God answers. I rejoice that he has found the power of prayer.
Christopher
Mon, Aug 16, 2010 : 10:59 a.m.
No matter how much you teach your children about God. It is well proved out that, in the end, they will reach a point where they either accept or reject Him themselves. It is very good to give them every advantage in knowing him possible, but it never negates their free choice. In the end it will be on the merits or lack of the relationship we have to truth and Him who is truth, how respond to reality as it were that we will be judges. I have know some parents who feel they have failed their children, who have left God, and maybe they did, or mabey they didn't, but faith is a gift from God, so if someone is lacking it you can never completely fault anyone. It is very good that you are teaching your children about reality rather then letting them embrace the insanity that their is no God. Peace God bless.
Heidi Hess Saxton
Mon, Aug 16, 2010 : 10:31 a.m.
God has no grandchildren. Each of us have an opportunity to choose or reject God's grace in our lives. While as parents, we may introduce our children to God, ultimately the bud of faith does not come to full blossom until it takes root. Sadly, as these two comments illustrate, that seed of faith can be choked out. Jesus talked about this in his parable about the weeds and tares (Matthew 13:1-23). Two of the hardest weeds to root out are anger and pride -- two of the seven deadly sins. Thankfully, as long as there is life, there is hope. God doesn't stop welcoming us into his family when we are six. As long as there is breath, there is hope. God bless you!
Carmen
Mon, Aug 16, 2010 : 9:38 a.m.
As Karl Marx Brilliantly said, "Religion is the opium of the people"...this article clearly illustrates that message.
Tom Wilkinson
Mon, Aug 16, 2010 : 7:03 a.m.
My parents belonged to two different protestant sects and could not agree how to raise their children. I was six before they resolved this issue and had me baptized. By this time, it was too late. I quit believing in god about the same time I quit believing in santa claus. If you want to poison your child's mind, you must start as early as possible.