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Posted on Fri, Apr 29, 2011 : 6:46 a.m.

What Oscar Wilde can teach us about good communication

By Chris Wucherer

There are lots of issues and solutions flying around my office on any given day. But when problems and frustrations are boiled down to their bare bones, good old communication is at the root of the problem.

There are more opportunities for misunderstandings in communication than there are pimples on an adolescent. Eruptions can happen at the drop of a dime when folks don't take the time to communicate thoughtfully, to express well, and listen deeply.

I am not a fan of "Jersey Shore," the reality TV show; in fact, I have never seen it. I have only seen bits and pieces referred to in articles about the show, but I do have a sense of what it is about and what happens on the show.

It seems that there is a lot of emotional flooding and hyper-reactivity going on between the show's characters. One communication disaster after another.

This send-up of the show presented by "The Importance of Being Earnest" on Broadway at Roundabout Theatre Company shows that it's not what we say but how we say it that matters. Take a look.

I am a firm believer in letting emotional flooding pass so we can think clearly about what is really bothering us. When we communicate from a place of personal truth and say it without junky emotion connected to it, it's possible to say really tough things and be heard by the other person.

Of course, I am not talking about insults and meanness. I am talking about difficult issues and concerns.

So go ahead and get your Oscar Wilde on and see what happens!

That's what I call saner living!

Chris Wucherer is a life coach, business coach and psychotherapist with 28 years of experience helping people create saner lives. She writes a blog and has a website. You can reach her at 734-669-7202 or by email.

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say it plain

Sun, May 1, 2011 : 12:09 a.m.

thanks, that brightened my evening :)