Ask Betty: Tips for planning a party! Let the spirit of Valentine's Day inspire you

For adults, it’s a festive, indulgent time of truffles and champagne, plump strawberries dipped in finest chocolate. What better time to have a party? And not only for Valentine’s Day: just take the spirit of the season and share yourself with friends.

It really doesn’t take much. First you need a reason — or you can make one up. Next you need guests, or else, admit it, it’s not really a party. Then, find a place for those guests, add some food and drinks, and … congrats — you’re a host!

Not difficult, right? So, why does the mere prospect of having a party turn our legs to jelly? Are we cowed by imaginary comparisons to Martha Stewart? If so, that’s too bad. We’re robbing ourselves and our friends of a lot of fun and some great memories.

If you want to have a party but feel trepidation, here’s a tip: Don’t call it a party. Call it having a few friends over. A get-together. A little gathering. That’s what it is, after all.

Ready? Here’s what you do:

1. Decide what the occasion is. An upcoming birthday or holiday may suggest a theme — e.g., Valentine’s Day, Winter Wonderland, Mardi Gras, St. Patrick’s Day. A theme will help you with other elements of the party — er, gathering.

2. Pull out your calendar and pick a likely date.

3. Decide how many guests you will invite.

4. Determine where the gathering will be and what time of day.

5. Invite your guests. Calling or emailing is acceptable, but paper invitations are always appropriate. (Use post-consumer recycled paper.) These can be funny or serious, depending on the tone you want your party to have.

Note: this is a turning point. Once you have invited guests, make no mistake: you are having a gathering. Oh, let’s be brave: a party! Do not panic! Worrying that things won’t turn out perfectly, wastes a tremendous amount of energy. Send that energy to your sense of fun. Let it invigorate you and rally your creative juices! Remember, perfection is not the goal here. Enjoyment is!

6. When you know how many guests are coming, plan for food and drinks. You can make your own food or have it catered. Time of day and theme can influence your menu choices. Choose make-ahead items, so you won’t be stuck in the kitchen. Consider setting up a buffet, so guests can help themselves. How about a big pot of chili, corn bread and a large salad? Or ask guests to each bring a dish to pass. If you do, though, make sure this is clear when you invite them.

7. Decorate. This is optional. Decorations help create the mood you’re going for, but you don’t need extravagant flowers or expensive store-bought items. Let your theme suggest colors and creative decorations. For Valentine’s Day, why not hole-punch all the hearts from a cheap deck of cards, and hang them in doorways? For Mardi Gras, hang colorful dollar store necklaces from light fixtures. For St. Pat's, serve potato chips in an upside down green leprechaun hat.

8. Play music. Also optional, but easy to provide. Again, your theme can suggest a type of music, or at least a mood. If you don’t have an extensive collection, check out your local library for CDs to borrow.

9. Plan activities: optional again. Just getting together with friends is usually enough. A good ice-breaker, if needed, is “Who Am I?” As guests arrive, place a sticker with a famous person’s name on each person’s back. The group will enjoy asking each other yes-or-no questions to determine their own identities. This gets strangers talking right away. Valentine’s Day can feature famous lovers. St. Patrick’s Day — famous Irish people. You get the idea…

If you’re new at hosting parties, start out small. Invite a few friends who already know each other and get along. If serving food scares you, order pizza. Worried your guests will be bored? Have a game theme and ask each guest to bring a favorite game. Above all, remember, you’re providing your guests  — yourself — a relaxing evening of good company. Enjoy!

For large events, weddings, corporate affairs, mitzvahs and children’s parties, professional event planners, such as The Betty Brigade, can help. From handling every detail to managing one or two aspects of your event, we help you create a vision and then make it happen.

Judy DiForte is a professional organizer for The Betty Brigade, a full-service personal assistance and concierge company, based in Ann Arbor. Email her at Judy @bettybrigade.com.