Social rituals have been practiced for thousands of years and remain important as 21st century families and neighborhoods change over time. Recently I witnessed a young lady’s rite of passage here in Burns Park on Wells Street between Packard and Forest. Similar rites regularly occur around Ann Arbor as young women and men transition to adulthood. My observations involved The Dress and women of various ages.

Our friendship with neighbors Jim, Carolynn and Anna dates back to the start of the millennium (2000) when Anna was three and our daughter - Vanessa - was ten. Vanessa was immediately viewed as the older and wiser girl - after all she was in grade school. Vanessa always wanted a younger sibling, so Anna became that cherished person and quite naturally Anna admired all things related to Vanessa’s actions and utterances. As years progressed Vanessa automatically assumed the role of “sitter held in high regard” - a very ancient status bestowed on individuals who make young children laugh and secretly permit them to stay up past unreasonable, parent-decreed bedtimes.

Anna is now thirteen and preparing for her Bat Mitzvah at Temple Beth Emeth. Last summer my wife - Sylvia - and I wondered about an appropriate gift for this auspicious occasion. Sylvia is a talented seamstress and mentioned that perhaps we could give Anna a special dress meant to be worn at the social event/dance following the Temple ceremony. So last July - during Vanessa’s college summer break - Sylvia floated the idea with Anna and Carolynn. Soon plans were announced. By early August it became abundantly clear I was witnessing an important female rite of passage. And the passage was all about The Dress. Below I describe and classify a number of distinct ritual phases. To my knowledge no other male has been allowed to make observations in such close proximity to these secret practices. My comments are preliminary in nature, but hopefully shed light on hitherto and little known Burns Park/Ann Arbor social structural patterns.

The Visit: Anna and Carolynn visited our home in mid-August to examine a variety of dress patterns. This essential part of the ritual included a thorough review of Vanessa’s dresses from high school years. The women scrutinized and discussed - at length - available styles, fabrics, colors and various objects to enhance The Dress’s appearance (necklaces, handbags, etc.) No options or possible combinations were left uncovered. Katie - Vanessa’s college roommate who was staying with us during the summer and also learning to sew her own garments - participated in these vital deliberations. Curiosity finally lured me from my upstairs den for a closer look.

Sylvia, Carolynn, Vanessa, Katie and Anna hovered over the dinning table discussing the pros and cons of various party dress designs. This intergenerational process was essential in arriving at an appropriate and timely resolution. Standing in the doorway of the dinning room, I was asked my opinion of various patterns - something males seldom experience in the ritual’s early stages. Discussions lasted approximately ninety minutes - a bit long, but certainly well within normal decision-making limits. Consensus was eventually reached and plans were made to visit a local fabric shop.

The Buying: In late August - after Vanessa and Katie returned to college - Anna, Carolynn and Sylvia drove to Jo-Ann Fabrics on Carpenter near Target. I learned from my main informant - Sylvia - that a critical part of The Buying involves selecting fabrics, colors, textures and items referred to as “notions” (perhaps future artifacts) that match the chosen pattern. Numerous fabrics were considered and rank-ordered. The final decision always rests with the coming-of-age woman as she visualizes the three-dimensional nature of The Dress. Later I also learned that Anna participated with grace and eager interest, while Carolynn and Sylvia provided important support and acknowledgement.

The Sewing: By early/mid September Sylvia began fabric cutting and sewing. This late summer construction phase proceeded smoothly - often on warm weekend afternoons in our sunroom. Everything seemed in order. Sylvia provided Anna and Carolynn with periodic updates thus enhancing a mental picture of the final product. This communication also provided important comfort and reassurance that The Dress was progressing according to plan.

The Fitting and Completion: By mid-October it was time for Anna and Carolynn to stop by for the fitting stage of custom sewing. This critical phase normally occurs over several days. Males, of course, are barred from this aspect of the ritual, but I heard admiring and delightful comments coming from distant parts of the house. Vanessa happened to be home for midterm break on the last fitting day and witnessed the final creation.

All four women joyfully visualized The Dress’s intended consequences and Anna was very pleased. At this point I was permitted to see the finished product in order to help document The Dress and speculate on its potential effect. See attached photos of all four women who were present at the ritual’s concluding stage.

Hopefully these observations contribute to our overall understanding of Burns Park/Ann Arbor culture and essential rites of passage. Further observations and research are recommended, especially regarding how dress myths compare across cultures over time.

Dwight Lang is Lecturer in Sociology at the University of Michigan, Ann Arbor. He studies the relationship between ritual and modernity.

Personal Note: Happy Bat Mitzvah, Anna! It’s been great watching you grow. Live long and prosper through your high school/college years and beyond.