Homeland Conspiracy

Wed, Dec 7, 2011 : 10:21 a.m.

Big Brother or Santa Claus You better watch out Santa Claus just may be a more devious menace then the "Big Brother" envisioned by George Orwell in his novel 1984. Santa constantly conducts surveillance of millions of children & violates their right to privacy, determined to discern whether they are being " bad or good"- casting an even wider net than the Thought Police in Orwell's novel. The fact that Santa watches children worldwide, while they are sleeping as well as when they are awake, suggests the machination of a voyeuristic pedophile. He also displays a deep-seated, obsessive-compulsive neurosis: he incessantly makes list of children who are naughty & nice, then checks them not only once but twice. This behavior reflects the working of what can only be described as very disturbed mind. Consider the evidence. The unkempt, longhair. Unshaven Bohemian, dressed in red (to display his communist ideology, perhaps?) Enslaves helpless elves in his isolated sweatshop & relegates his wife to the role of a 2nd class citizen, refusing to allow her even the dignity of a 1st name. He goes on an annual rampage, breaking into & entering private homes by the way of the chimney, stealing cookies, apples, & milk, then leaving behind toys in a feeble attempt to redistribute wealth & spread his warped Marxist-Leninist-totalitarian-tyranny. Santa Claus (if that's his real name) apparently "drinks so heavily that his flying sleigh must be guided by a reindeer named Rudolph who, judging by his red nose is even drunker that Santa," noted columnist William Burril in the Toronto Star says "The fact that Santa manages to visit every house in the world in a single night also strongly suggests a heavy personal use of hard drugs such as Cocaine, Meth, & E.