Building a team for cancer, training and life

When you are used to doing everything for yourself, your way, it can be tough to let people share your burden. For many of us, myself included, there is a certain amount of satisfaction involved in accomplishing difficult things on our own. I remember how disappointed I was to learn that the Sherpas did all the work when westerners were taking all the credit for summiting Mount Everest. I was bummed to learn that the world’s top marathoners really only set records when they have a team of pacers to block the wind. In my mind (until recently) it was a point of pride to take on the biggest challenges solo. How wrong I was.

Accomplishing great things requires a great team. That team can be anyone…family, friends, friends-of-friends, training partners, coaches, co-workers, and of course, a medical team that guides you through treatment. There is nothing wrong with accepting help, and even asking for help or hiring help. I mentioned last week that I joined a marathon training program here in Ann Arbor with Running Fit. I know that it is the right thing to do, even if it is a huge commitment. I need the structure, the support, and the technical assistance. In my previous athletic endeavors (which were always doomed to failure) I relied only on books, the internet and my own brain to devise a plan. Well, all I can say is that people pay personal trainers and running coaches for a reason…results.

I’m also beginning a regular training regimen for general wellness and strength at Sparrow Athletic in Kerrytown. There I can work on core strength and general conditioning so that I can endure the rigors of my running. I can tell after just a few workouts that I’m going to be a better, less injury-prone runner as a result. In other words, with the help of others I have a better chance of doing something right for a change. The most amazing part is that Josh, the trainer, is volunteering to help me and my teammates get ready for the half marathon we are running to raise money for the Wellness Community.

When we had Leo, dozens of friends came by with dinner, to help out around the house, and generally be of service. Anyone who has had a child knows just how taxing (but rewarding!) those first few weeks can be, so we truly appreciated the help. Just a matter of weeks later, when we found out Moira’s diagnosis…the dam truly broke. Family and friends from far and wide wanted to help. I was hesitant at first, but ultimately relented as we became overwhelmed in those early days. I am so glad I did. Our “team” includes so many people, and without them I know something critical could have been missed, the stress would have been unbearable, and we may have never known how genuinely good so many people really are.

So far in Moira’s treatment, we have had our capable oncologist, a spitfire surgeon, a talented and caring radiation oncologist, and an army of nurses and resident physicians. That is just the beginning. If you ever have to go through cancer treatment, there are also social workers, volunteers, phlebotomists, therapists of all kinds, administrative personnel, and of course, our favorite UMHS employee, the Cancer Center parking structure attendant. I’m not kidding. No matter how long between visits nor how long the line, he always asked (and meant it) if we were doing ok, and wished us a wonderful day. He made a very real contribution, although I would never have thought that the parking lot guy would play any kind of role in all of this. He did. His kind attitude was infectious, and always diffused that tension we felt as we drove up Medical Center Drive. He wanted to do his small part to make this experience better. I know he did and we love him for that.

It is important to keep an open mind and accept the help that others want to provide. I’ve experienced this lately with my new friends in the running community in Ann Arbor. I’ve given up my bullheaded ways and now look to the experts for running and training, and I soak up every word. My friend Rob was telling me all about his experiences at various marathons he had conquered and it left me with a new frame of reference. It has helped me think more critically about what I will be facing when I line up for my own run. I took some pointers from Marie, my running group leader, for my upcoming 10k race (the Turkey Trot in Detroit on Thanksgiving).

Now when I see those elite runners breaking records in the marathon on television, I’ll understand. No one man could ever run a world-record marathon without help. The pacers are just the guys you see on the screen. A single outsider could never have conquered Everest. The Sherpas unique gifts and expertise made Sir Edmund Hillary’s conquest of Everest a reality, and he made sure that Tenzing Norgay was given his due. From here on out, I’ll be doing the same for our team.

For more stories from the road, visit Zak's blog, Average Guy Hits the Road and learn more about his campaign to help support cancer survivors and supporters. Zak can be reached by email by clicking here.