Part Six: ‘Twas the Night before a (Very) Curvy Christmas ‘ Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house Not a garment would fit, not even my blouse;

The stocking size said large, but buyer beware, It doesn’t necessarily mean you’ll be able to fit into there;

My rolls were nestled all snug in their threads, While visions of baklava danced in my head; I put on my ‘kercheif, and donned my winter cap, And I tried to put on my coat, but the buttons wouldn’t snap,

The realization of which made me make such a clatter, An adult tantrum in response to myself getting fatter. Away from this pretense I flew like a flash, And I took a big breath and loosened my sash.

The dawn on the breast of the new-fallen snow Gave the luster of mid-day to my belly below, When, what to my wondering eyes should appear, But the presence of hope, and eight mighty things I hold dear.

And with a little self-humor, so as not to be sick, I knew in a moment that my new plan would stick. More rapid than eagles my intentions they came, And I whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;

“Now, Laughter! Now, Dancing! Now, Friends and Conviction! On, Self-Esteem! On, Confidence! On, Real Foods and EATING! From the tops of my thighs! To my saddlebags and jowl! Help this excess fat dash away! Dash away! Dash away all!”

As my heart filled with promise and the new hope to try, I finally saw my shape as a bonus and let out a cry; It wasn’t I that had the problem with it, as some other people do; I liked my trunk full of junk; my confidence born anew.

Understanding how long it might take to see proof, I endeavored to preserve my ability to goof. As I made my intention, life was turning around, Down the road I could see it; goal met, my slenderer self very svelte, very proud.

So today’s journey begins, and it all starts with one foot, And though my clothes may be strained, I’ll stay true to this root: Moving forward there is no sense to look back, And resent self control and its obvious lack.

Though the road will be long, and my sizes may vary, I’m determined to get moving, and I will not tarry! With the holidays here, the temptation will grow To eat with abandon, ‘till my movements grow stunted and slow;

But with the grit of determination set hard in my teeth, I’ll eat and enjoy it, just not down to the wreath. So I have a fuller face and a little round belly, And it does shake when I laugh, like a bowlful of jelly.

This Christmas I don’t mind being chubby and plump, And I do laugh when I see it, in spite of myself. A good glass of wine and a warm crust of bread, Homemade stuffing, spinach pie, and bowls and bowls of salad

Will make short, short work For my knife and my fork. And laying aside the calorie counting woes, I will enjoy what is in front of me, and just pace myself as it goes.

So on Christmas, this girl does not think of total calorie dismissal, But rather a compromise between sinew and gristle. And I still will be heard, toward the end of the respite, wishing a “Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good-night!”

Happy Holidays to all of you and yours! More confessions of a (very) curvy girl will come out every Wednesday.

You can contact Elizabeth by e-mailing her at elizabethpalmer@annarbor.com.