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In my last post, I talked about how to take a planned relationship break when a relationship no longer feels good. Thanksgiving is a time when family and friends come together around tables filled with platters of treasured recipes to give thanks and gratitude for what they have. It can be an occasion to to see family members you haven't seen in a while.

My family had our big family Thanksgiving dinner last Sunday. A niece, whom I had not seen for 17 years, and her fiancee came for the weekend to be a part of our celebration. It was a seamless reconnection, made easier by the focus around Thanksgiving. We had drifted apart due to life's busy-ness, so there were no relationship time bombs to work around. It was really enjoyable.

Thanksgiving can also be a time to reconnect with someone from whom you have taken a planned relationship break. This can be a little more tricky and fraught with some anxiety. Here are some tips that may help:

* Be clear about your goals for the reconnection.

* Take small steps.

* Remember that the other person is anxious, too.

* Do prep work; talk through any major issues before the holiday celebration with a trusted neutral third party.

* If possible, talk with the person you are having difficulty with before the holiday gathering.

* Agree to a do-over, which means you both agree to let go of the conflict and start fresh.

* If tension and disagreement is still present, focus on other relationships during the celebration. Keep a polite distance from the source of your discomfort.

* Be courteous to the other person during the holiday celebration.

* Remember that this is your issue; don't contaminate the holiday by gossiping or talking about your relationship issues with others.

* Remind yourself that you have a lifetime to work this issue through: It doesn't have to be done on or before the holiday in order for you to have a good time.

For those of you who are struggling with tough relationships this Thanksgiving, I hope these tips are helpful. Remember, the only person you have control over is yourself and taking good care of you contributes greatly to having a good holiday.

Chris Wucherer, a life coach, business coach and psychotherapist, has 28 years of experience helping people create saner lives. She uses a wide array of practical tools, tips and a deep visioning process to help people move forward. Chris firmly believes and practices the principles that saner living makes for great living. She is the Saner Living Guru. Chris writes a blog and has a website. You can reach her at 734-669-7202 or by email.

Click here for Chris's Tips for Holiday Sanity.