Have the 'Mommy Wars' morphed into 'Pet Wars'?
flickr photo by IntangibleArts
Having been in the pet business for so long — and having shared life with pets for and even longer time, I’ve seen plenty of changes in our culture regarding having pets.
A lot of it, I think, has gone in the right direction. With so much more solid knowledge about behavior and health, we can make better choices and enable ourselves to create a better life for animals, a goal that I strive for consistently.
On the other hand, I see a trend that is all-too-common in our society these days, especially: “pet wars.”
It might not seem very overt at first, and I’m guessing that being as immersed in the pet world as I am, I see a ton of it.
I ran across an article on the Catonsville Patch website on the topic that resonated with me.
Pet wars are gaining momentum and have some semblance to the “mommy wars” that we’ve all been witness to. It’s everywhere, and I’ve seen that social media has enabled it greatly.
Greg Ealick, Adjunct Faculty at University of Maryland, Baltimore County notes in the article, “I think nurturing in general is getting a lot more divisive. The increasing hostility we see in pet rearing is an echo of the increasing hostility in child rearing.”
Perhaps you’ve seen it or even experienced it. In the latter case, I have, and I find it disturbing.
One of the first questions that I hear someone pose to a new pet owner is, “Did you adopt them from a rescue?”
(Can you feel the eyes of silent judgment cast themselves upon you?)
Our pets are well into their senior years, and when they first came to be in our lives, these questions never came up. But now, it’s the first thing that I hear most often and it makes me cringe for a lot of reasons.
In truth, all of our pets were “rescued” in one way or another, but these days, it seems like it’s some sort of popularity contest, to “adopt” a “rescue.” And if you decide to acquire a pet from the wrong rescue — or a reputable breeder — there will be hell to pay.
(To set the record straight, I do think that rescues are amazing and necessary, and I support reputable ones fully. I’m also totally against buying a pet from a pet store and think that puppy mills need to be abolished.)
And, let’s not forget about activities. How many of you have been questioned about what activities your dogs are involved in?
“Is your dog in agility?”
(For goodness sake, some dogs are not good in situations like that.)
Have you ever been grilled about the kind of food that you feed your pets? “Oh, you don’t feed [insert your brand here]? Oh, if you only knew…”
(Really?)
All of those things have been said to me. Luckily I know my pets better than anyone and won’t let anyone undermine the way that I care for them. But I know that a lot of other people sharing life with pets struggle with these statements and questions.
I've witnessed the jabs that are thrown from rescue to rescue and organization to organization, as well as the comments from the supporters of each.
What is your experience with the phenomenon of "pet wars?"
Read the referenced article by clicking here.
Lorrie Shaw leads the pets section for AnnArbor.com and is owner of Professional Pet Sitting. Shoot her an email, contact her at 734-904-7279 or follow her adventures on Twitter.
Comments
treetowncartel
Tue, Aug 21, 2012 : 3:43 a.m.
I might add, if a puppy is born it needs a home, regardless of whether it is a purebred, a mutt, a rescue or a service dog. So, the comparison to moms and children is not far off. As is, the willingness of some humans to nurture and provide for only the ones of the pack we can identify with. All dogs deserve a chance to succeed regardless of the pedigree, just like children, neither of them had the ability to pick their lot in life.
A2James
Mon, Aug 20, 2012 : 11 p.m.
Some pets have more sense than their owners. Any owner who is really that snobby about pet ownership needs a reality check
pest
Mon, Aug 20, 2012 : 9:09 p.m.
Whether your pet is from a breeder or a rescue is irrelevant. I've had both - the objective when adopting a pet is usually for companionship. People like certain traits that are prominent in specific breeds and there is nothing wrong with getting the animal from someone who specialized in that breed. Often you know the health history because of it. But there are many rescues that need homes. Just because a dog or cat is not particulary "cute" or isn't a purebred doesn't take away from the animal. If someone has acted "snobbish" to me for me getting my dog from a breeder, I honestly didn't notice. I've heard the question asked if he was a rescue, and I tell them no. I'm happy to hear that their pet was - I'm sure their pet appreciates no longer being in a shelter. I've also placed many homeless in homes or have taken them in myself. The objective is to have a companion and loyal pet - it doesn't matter where they came from. The thing I would like to see is puppy mills and backyard breeders put out of business because it harms the animals. That's all I care about.
TrappedinMI
Mon, Aug 20, 2012 : 9:05 p.m.
OMG Lorrie. I hear you! It's ridiculous!!!
Bertha Venation
Mon, Aug 20, 2012 : 8:55 p.m.
Since my cat's don't go out, I was totally oblivious to this situation. Thanks for the education.
tom swift jr.
Mon, Aug 20, 2012 : 8:04 p.m.
I've never heard any of these comments. About all I hear pet owners say to each other are.. "hey, cute/pretty/handsome dog!" A bit of a stretch to use the word "Wars" in the title. (I was expecting something about the use of kitties in ground to ground combat, needless to say I was disappointed!)
John of Saline
Mon, Aug 20, 2012 : 7:19 p.m.
Too bad Juliana Keeping isn't at AnnArbor.com any more to comment on this issue....
Woman in Ypsilanti
Mon, Aug 20, 2012 : 7:14 p.m.
People like to be critical of how other people do things and that is especially so when it comes to raising children. Since raising pets seems to be done in the same spirit as raising children, I guess it isn't too surprising that people are just as critical. I am kind of relaxed about rules at my house. I don't have too many although I am very strict about the ones I do have. But I have had people who feel like there is nothing wrong with criticizing me for things like allowing my dogs on the furniture or letting the dogs walk into the house before me and whatnot. I am sure if I had a kid, they would be on my case for allowing them to watch TV or whatever.
Bertha Venation
Mon, Aug 20, 2012 : 8:53 p.m.
To heck with them, honey! You're doing just fine!
smokeblwr
Mon, Aug 20, 2012 : 6:01 p.m.
The Pet Wars have begun, they have....
John of Saline
Mon, Aug 20, 2012 : 7:24 p.m.
I'm sure you meant "Begun, the pet wars have," Yoda.
RunsWithScissors
Mon, Aug 20, 2012 : 1:29 p.m.
I thought I was the only one noticing the subtle (and not-so-subtle) competition! Fortunately I'm mostly deaf so the rescue snubs go unnoticed (my hearing friends, on the other hand, are only too willing to tell me what was said). My pup is a chessie-doodle. Most people would call him a designer dog. Sometimes, though, I refer to him as a whoopsie-doodle since the breeder hadn't intended mom & dad to get together at that time. And I didn't really pay for him - he was a deposit on a project I did for the breeder. That's my defense, and I'm stickin' to it. On the other hand, I am guilty of judging other dogs (my dog? he's already perfect) and deeming them unfit for public exposure. I can't stop myself, it seems to be a knee-jerk reaction (emphasis on "jerk"). But I have trained myself to stay silent and not jump in with unsolicited advice - most of the time.
xmo
Mon, Aug 20, 2012 : 1:23 p.m.
My daughter refusing to eat Turkey,Salmon, Tuna and Chicken because that is what the cat eats! We are not talking about can cat food but the real thing. I am only on this planet to serve the cat so who cares what anyone else thinks!
Bertha Venation
Mon, Aug 20, 2012 : 8:50 p.m.
I'm with you. I've got 2 cats and now I'm so kitty-whipped, I don't know what to do! :)
BHarding
Mon, Aug 20, 2012 : 12:10 p.m.
I have two rescued greyhounds so I slide by scot-free when people ask if they're rescues. But, why do they even ask? Once you have your dog, you're not going to return it and say "Ooops, I should have picked a rescue". It's your dog and you love it. There are big advantages to finding a reputable breeder so that you can get the dog you've always wanted. Puppy mills are a different, and terrible, story.