November is upon us and that means that the holiday shopping season is right around the corner.

I spent 24 Christmas holidays during my retail career and can tell you it is not an easy time for customer or clerk. I have heard many stories and complaints from customers through the years about their good and bad shopping experiences.

It is now my time to share some thoughts from "my side of the counter" that will hopefully make this an easier time for all.

So here are some tips and reflections from years of a retail life.

• Make a list of the people you need to shop for. Get an idea of what they might really need or want. It is very helpful to know sizes. It really is alright to ask for this information, especially if you have been married or together for a long time.

• When an employee offers help accept it. There is no shame in admitting you don't enjoy doing this. Do make sure the person who helps you rings the sale or gets credit for it. Every employee's productivitiy is measured even if they don't work on commission.

• You can call the larger stores like Macy's and get an appointment with a personal shopper. There is no fee for this service, but don't expect to pop in and get an appointment. Von Maur also has many experienced, professional sales people to assist.

• Stay positive and pleasant. We know lots of shoppers are trying too hard and hating the process. It really is alright to give gift cards. In fact, most people love getting them. The stores love selling them as it means less returns and more cash for them.

• If an employee wishes you Happy Holidays instead of Merry Christmas please don't get angry. The company does not stop them from saying that. Not all of us celebrate Christmas and we want to respect all.

• Decide ahead of time how much money you can spend. Don't be tempted to open a new charge for the initial savings unless you can pay it right off. The companies are counting on you overspending and paying the very large interest payment later.

• Don't try to outdo others. It is a tough ecomony and only you know what you can afford. Know you will not overspend on stupid or truly useless items. Remember the true meaning of the season. Simple is good and thoughtfullness is wonderful.

• Try to shop local as much as you can. We need to support each other and keep the Michigan economy moving. Black Friday, the day after Thanksgiving, is always a major shopping day. But trust that there will be many more great sale days. Stores are taking markdowns sooner now so there are great deals all the time.

• It is best to shop early for a bigger selection. Don't be disappointed if you wait until the last minute for that special item and it is gone.

•Shopping early in the week and in the evenings are the calmest times for all.

• Keep the spirit and meaning of this holiday season in mind. This is supposed to be a happy time filled with good memories with the people you love. The most important things in life are not things. Have a wonderful season.

• Lastly, please check back often at AnnArbor.com for our holiday shopping tips. We will feature local items that are interesting, unusual, and a good value. And let me know any of your thoughts or tips for getting through the season.

Barb Roether of Ann Arbor is a former personal shopper at a major retailer who now blogs about shopping for AnnArbor.com.