Are stereotypical Chinese mothers superior or too strict?

Posted on Tue, Jan 11, 2011 : 8:30 a.m.

Are stereotypical Chinese mothers superior or too strict?

By Pam Stout

Amy Chua in 2007 | Photo from Wikimedia Commons

"Why Chinese Mothers Are Superior," a piece in the Wall Street Journal by Amy Chua, a Yale Law professor and author of new book "Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother," is stirring online debate and attracting thousands of comments on the WSJ site.

Chua strikes all kinds of parenting nerves, asserting, "What Chinese parents understand is that nothing is fun until you're good at it. To get good at anything you have to work, and children on their own never want to work, which is why it is crucial to override their preferences." Chua describes techniques including yelling, shaming and "giving up anything" for their children's success. By contrast, she suggests, Western parents "constantly try to reassure their children about how good they are notwithstanding a mediocre performance on a test or at a recital."

Read the full WSJ article on Why Chinese Mothers are Superior, and then tell us what you think:

poll by twiigs.com

Comments

Jay Thomas

Thu, Jan 13, 2011 : 6:13 a.m.

It is well known that many Asian parents place high standards on their children with a goal of academic excellence. While it does help them when it comes to making a living later in life, it can often lead to deficits in other areas. Calling a child "garbage" is abusive (whether in public or private). She is repeating the abuse of her parents with her own child and calling it superiority.

mrd

Tue, Jan 11, 2011 : 1:45 p.m.

Here's what you can utilize: There is not one way. Having high expectations for your child is a good idea. Being persistent in believing in them is necessary, helpful, and healthful. The rest of the article is all about causing controversy, argument, selling books, being famous. Stereotypes are interesting for conversation, but don't apply to every situation. Squeeze carbon hard enough you get a diamond. Squeeze it harder you get pulverized carbon. People are people whether they are young or old, chinese or other.

mrd

Tue, Jan 11, 2011 : 1:44 p.m.

RuralMom

Tue, Jan 11, 2011 : 1:33 p.m.

Again I ask how many of you posting this really understand and have seen it up close & personal. What I see many people getting upset about is the LANGUAGE. Well look at it a little closer, most Chinese Mothers speak to their children in Chinese, so when you translate what they are saying to their children into English, it can come out looking to be abusively harsh especially when you have no comprehension of the intent. When you experience it up close and personal, you see it much differently, understand it from a much different perspective. Either way you slice it you cannot argue with the facts that some of America's highest achievers seem to be predominately of Asian heritage of some sort and the parenting is different. Look at it for what its worth, try to take something from it that you can utilize.

michiganexpats.com

Tue, Jan 11, 2011 : 1:08 p.m.

Personally, I found the story offensive and overarching. I'm surprised WSJ would print an article like that. It's a collection of ridiculous statements that amounts to link bait.

Top Cat

Tue, Jan 11, 2011 : 1:06 p.m.

My wife and I read Ms. Chua's article in the Journal and as parents were both appalled. There was a long story about her brow beating her daughter for hours to play some silly piece on the piano. However, the most important skill any parent can teach a child is how to successfully work with and interact with other people. I saw no evidence that Ms. Chua imparted any of this to her children. As for this stereotype being applied to all Chinese mothers, I'm having a hard time buying that.

RuralMom

Tue, Jan 11, 2011 : 12:25 p.m.

I guess if you don't see it first hand, or are not immersed somewhat in the culture, then you can't see it in a positive light.

braggslaw

Tue, Jan 11, 2011 : 12:10 p.m.

I think I am going to go rent the Joy Luck Club on second thought, Rumble in the Bronx would be more entertaining

rusty shackelford

Tue, Jan 11, 2011 : 12:10 p.m.

You were asking about stereotypes, right?

rusty shackelford

Tue, Jan 11, 2011 : 12:09 p.m.

The problem with Chinese mothers is you're just hungry again half an hour after they yell at you.

UtrespassM

Tue, Jan 11, 2011 : 11:27 a.m.

As my understanding, the supper of a Chinese mother is not a pusher as Amy Chua told us in her article. It is the sacrifice that a woman is willing to take for her children. A long as her children are happy and safe, a Chinese mother will be fine to live with no life for herself.

SuperFreckleFace

Tue, Jan 11, 2011 : 10:55 a.m.

I saw Amy Chua on the Today Show this morning. What amazed me was her description of her father's reaction when she was a child. She came in second in a history challenge. Her father's comment afterwards was, "don't you ever disgrace me like that again". Her father's behavior was disgraceful not hers. I'm all for pushing my children to reach their full potential but comments like that are not entertained.

UtrespassM

Tue, Jan 11, 2011 : 10:53 a.m.

As a Chinese daught, I was not forced to do anything like Amy Chua did to her daughts. As a Chinese monther, I did not and will not force my children to do anything against their will and ability.

dotdash

Tue, Jan 11, 2011 : 10:49 a.m.

This seems like a ridiculous premise. Any time you lump half a billion people together ("Chinese Moms") against another half a billion people ("Western Moms") you can't draw any conclusions at all. What a mess. If it's useful to compare and discuss parenting styles, let's do that, but there must be much more variation within each of the half-a-billion-mom groups than across.

RuralMom

Tue, Jan 11, 2011 : 10:16 a.m.

lulu, I can see where you would get that impression, but I think its not described very clearly. I work for a Chinese company and am very close to several Chinese Mothers (wives of the President and VP). They do DEMAND more of their children, however they are right there helping them achieve their full potential. So getting a B on a test that the Mom knows could be much higher, all those practice tests being done, are with Mom right there showing them how to master the task, and helping them out. They seem to set high standards, then HELP the children achieve that goal, very very hands on parenting and the results are magnificient. I can say as an employee, my family has always come first for my employers, and you don't get that very much anymore in the work place.

lulu

Tue, Jan 11, 2011 : 10:05 a.m.

I think if you read the WSJ article - the mother in question is not strict. She is sociopathic. Big difference.

braggslaw

Tue, Jan 11, 2011 : 9:37 a.m.

All children are not created equal. One of my kids is/was highly motivated and there was not much I needed to do to harness that child's talents. My other kid needed some pushing, which was difficult but necessary. That child needed lessons on entitlement, hard work and personal responsibility. It worked but it was difficult. It takes a committment from the parents and a steady consistent strategy. Parenting is the single most importan responsibility for an individual. I consider my children the best thing that ever happened to me but I also want society to benefit from their contributions. I want them to produce more X (X=productivity, art, ideas, economic growth) than they consume.