Downtown street signs a potentially helpful annoyance
It’s inevitable for Ann Arbor’s landscape to change with the arrival of the students. Rather than crank on about the congestion, the noise, the neophyte conversation (no, you can’t make calls with an iPod touch), I try to focus on the positive: the back-to-school atmosphere, the studying on the Diag, the adorable nineteen-year-olds trying to sneak into Ashley’s.
But I can’t overlook the horrid, ghastly, Disneyland-esque street signs pointing out-of-staters to neighborhoods of interest. An awful IKEA design at a ridiculous multiplication of the price.
It would be one thing if they were merely unattractive, but they’re also rather pointless. Legible, yes, and ubiquitous, certainly—but just how useful are they? Haven’t students been handed about a zillion maps of campus at orientation? Or the other orientation? Or the various ‘Getting to Know Ann Arbor’ field trips? Do we really need these color-coded-by-district signs like Kerrytown is the new home of Magic Mountain?
Suppose a student has no paper maps of campus. He needs to leave for class in five minutes and have no idea where he’s going. I know no person under 25 whose first instinct is to grab a map when they need directions—they go online. Google Maps can get to any address, but not necessarily a building by name. Thank goodness for the online UM Campus Information Centers, with maps of Ann Arbor, Central Campus, and an interactive direction finder. Solved!
Oh, so they’re already outside, and don’t have a computer handy? Let’s assume, like any other human in a metropolitan area, they have a cellphone. Even if it doesn’t have internet capability to access the site above, they can call the info center at (734) 764-INFO. Or hey, play it like you do when you need the nearest Jimmy John’s at 3 AM—phone your roommate and ask them where the Fishbowl is (with the added bonus that they could tell you what bus to get on).
Let’s now assume our hapless student is adrift sans friends, technology, and primitive paper guides of campus. In the extreme cases of destitution, radio silence, and a dark-age inducing EMP—and assuming, though the apocalypse is nigh, this student is still going to class—there’s a way we used to get places back in the old days of 2004. It’s called asking for directions.
We’re a college town, a football town, a granola-hugging tree-eating hippie town. I have been asked, and asked for, directions in Ann Arbor (yes, I still don’t know where some things are) and have never once been mugged, slapped, or told to do something unpleasant to my own person. Any given pedestrian is used to it, especially in the glorious pre-autumn. We live here, you’re new, we’ll help you out. We will.
Because we’d walk you there if it means taking down those tacky-tastic signs.
Sarah Smallwood is a freelance writer living and working in Ann Arbor. She is currently rewriting her first novel, keeps a daily blog at The Other Shoe and hosts a podcast at Stuff with Things. She can be reached at heybeedoo at gmail dot com.
Comments
MgoFUSE
Tue, Oct 6, 2009 : 9:58 a.m.
i'm a senior at the university, and after living here for three years (two full summers), i've seen ann arbor packed with 40,000 students in winter, and i've seen it packed with townees+visitors for art fair (among other events, AASF, etc) in the summer. and either way, these signs are great! i take pride in living here when i walk past them; it makes the city feel that much more cohesive and metropolitan.
Deb H.
Mon, Sep 28, 2009 : 10:34 p.m.
I love the new signs! They are helpful AND attractive. Many people who live and visit here are over 25 and are NOT students, and most do NOT have GPS on their phones. This article sounds like a drunken rant, and I can't believe that Ann Arbor.com would print this on page 2 of their already very diminished newspaper.
Kilgore Trout
Fri, Sep 25, 2009 : 8:14 a.m.
In a town that as not only two streets named 4th, but two named 5th on either side of Main Street we need signs. Besides the obvious, that tourists would be able to get around easier, wouldnt it also help to point out areas of interest? A sign pointing out Kerrytown would remind an out-of-towner that Zingermans is there. The signs would also direct people to the fact that we have a not only a Museum of Art but a Museum of Natural History. I think we need the signs. Although the author does have a good idea and Ill agree to take down the signs when she sets up an escort service, personally walking people where they need to go.
Ann English
Tue, Sep 22, 2009 : 6:02 p.m.
I can easily imagine asking for directions and finding out that the other person doesn't know sufficient English to understand my request. Smallwood used the abbreviation "EMP". I wonder how many readers know it stands for Electomagnetic Pulse, which would knock out all of a nation's electrical grid? Signs, like roundabouts, need no electricity for functioning.
ann arbor girl
Mon, Sep 21, 2009 : 8:02 a.m.
Yes, being stopped and asked for directions is wonderful and very neighborly. But real life doesn't always allow for this. How often do you enjoy stopping to ask directions when late for a concert or on your way to jury duty. And Google Maps doesn't do much good when construction detours away from where they are sending you. And perhaps best of all - the new signs tell you what great treasures we have in town. For generations, UM students have graduated without ever enjoying the Farmers Market or even setting foot on Main Street. These signs at least let them know what they are missing.
Matt Van Auker
Sun, Sep 20, 2009 : 4:01 p.m.
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute. I've lived in Ann Arbor 42 years, and clearly, and unquestionably know where everything is, and without questions, some of the signs, as your article states, don't make even the remotest bit of sense. But, doggone it, you know those are happy signs. I would die for them. Besides, everyone seems to know, I know where everything is. Maybe, doggone it, they can simply stop asking me, now, for directions, while I'm simply trying to sit down, and enjoy every last bit of my smoke. Simply detestable, simply detestable.
Wystan
Sat, Sep 19, 2009 : 11:59 a.m.
Recent commenters on Flickr have been sharing your scorn for these signs: http://www.flickr.com/photos/mfobrien/3886971023/ http://www.flickr.com/photos/mfobrien/3911030546/
scole
Fri, Sep 18, 2009 : 6:34 p.m.
As a non-student who moved to town not so long ago, I have to confess to much confusion finding places, restaurants, stores etc that were recommended by long-time residents. "It's close to Kerrytown." Is that another town? No. Is it near a numbered street? No, well yes, but you have to get on the right one. Where's the nearest parking? Well, what day of the week do you want to go there? Signs, cartoonish or not would have been a great help. I could suggest a trip to Bloomington, Indiana, another small town with a big-ten campus, and give you directions to some oddly named local hideout using in-the -club names, but they already put signs up to help out-of-towners.
Larry Kestenbaum
Fri, Sep 18, 2009 : 1:59 p.m.
It's not just students. Any time of the year, there are visitors and tourists and student-parents lost in our eccentric street grid. I am asked for directions almost every time I walk around. Our street names contribute to the confusion. Why do we still have two 4ths and two 5ths, all parallel with one another?
GriswoldKJ
Fri, Sep 18, 2009 : 1:28 p.m.
I am more concerned that the sign to Kerrytown directs vehicular traffic the wrong way on Fifth Avenue. Per a phone call on Thursday, the DDA is looking into the problem.
Sarah Smallwood
Fri, Sep 18, 2009 : 10:44 a.m.
I'm not saying the signs don't work; I'm saying we don't need them. It's a belt-and-suspenders technique, only the suspenders cost $700,000. That money could have gone somewhere more useful than making A2 look like IKEA. [UPDATE: I have linked to the original article about the signs in the second paragraph.]
a2dancelady
Fri, Sep 18, 2009 : 7:35 a.m.
I disagree! Have visited and driven in many unfamiliar cities which had similar signage and been very grateful for them! They're not just for students; Ann Arbor has many other visitors.
bhall
Thu, Sep 17, 2009 : 7:18 p.m.
The hardest question to answer is "How do I get to the U-of-M Hospital." Hope that appears on the signs.
Spencer Thomas
Thu, Sep 17, 2009 : 3:32 p.m.
Clearly, you've never been a pedestrian asked for directions to something only a few blocks away...
Jose
Thu, Sep 17, 2009 : 1:32 p.m.
Your curmudgeonly complaining about signs is more suited to the demographic most likely to use them: old people. I approve of the unintended irony!