A teacher's dilemma: Whether to challenge a homophobic word in class
Twice now, it’s happened. In just under three weeks.
Every day, I have my students write “Reflections” and turn them in to me on the way out the door. I create a hand-out on Mondays, a sheet of paper with three or four sentence-starters listed for each day of the school-week: phrases like, “I will remember...;” “I think…;” “I wonder…;” and “I just wanted to say…”Â
Students must finish the sentences before the end of the period and I tell them to be honest when they do so, to write about whatever’s on their minds, whether it’s something that happens inside or outside of class. It’s a good way for me to keep my finger on the pulse of what’s happening in here, I say. I get a sense of what you guys are thinking about and how you’re responding to the lessons and I can adjust what we’re doing accordingly. It’s also a way for you to put your pen to paper every day no matter what, even if it’s just a little bit, and a way for your voice to be heard in the class.
I go over the Reflections every night - it takes me about seven minutes to sift through a class of 30 students, and I have four sections of Creative Writing this semester - and then read a bunch of the comments aloud (anonymously) to begin class the following day. It’s a ritual I’ve been practicing throughout my 15 years of teaching, one that has proven to offer numerous benefits. First, it’s true, by reading what 30 or so students have to say following a given class period, I’m able to get a good sense about how things are going. If the Reflections are dull and lifeless, probably the day’s lesson was dull and lifeless. If the Reflections are provocative and engaging, so too was the lesson. It's instant feedback that allows me to grow and learn, to adapt my plans and improve them.
Second, Reflections help to start the class each day by re-connecting to what we were doing the day before - no small achievement when students shuttle through seven classes daily, a different one every hour. In addition, Reflections often create vibrant class-wide conversations. Somebody will write something in a Reflection - say, about health-care reform, or whether it’s okay to ask a good friend’s former girlfriend to Homecoming - and I’ll offer a personal opinion in response, or ask an additional question, and a flurry of hands will pop up and all of a sudden we’ll have an engaging discussion, and then within a few days maybe three or four people will have written poems or essays addressing the topic.Â
In this fashion, Reflections really do prove I’m not just mouthing an empty slogan when I say that student voices - and not mine - are the primary engine driving what we do. When I start each class by reading them, by filling the air with students’ words, I’m continually re-affirming that tenet. Plus, I’m really only a decent teacher for about 40 minutes in any given period, so if I can back off for 10 minutes and let the student voices take over, everybody’s much happier.
The key to making Reflections work is that their anonymity remains sacred. Nobody can know who’s frustrated with a boyfriend who appears to be more interested in smoking weed with his buddies than getting together on a Friday night, or about who’s worried about failing to study enough for an upcoming physics test. The anonymity also often leads to playful intrigues that can add a kind of vitality to the room. Somebody will write about how cute the boy’s hair in the corner is when it hangs over his eyes and the mystery of who the author is will keep everybody wondering for a day or two.Â
The flip side of that, though, is that sometimes people write something cruel in a Reflection and then I’m faced with a choice. Read it aloud and try to provoke a discussion that deals with the mean-spiritedness, or skip over it, refuse to air it and give it any attention. That’s what I’ve been faced with twice in the past few weeks when the same word, one I haven’t seen written in Reflections for years - possibly a decade - has appeared: faggot.
The first Reflection was something like I just wanted to say…he turned out to be a faggot. The one I encountered last night, from a different student’s handwriting, in a different class, says I highly doubt…she’ll ever get over that faggot. In both cases, it’s debatable, I guess, whether faggot is describing a boy who might be gay, or the word’s just being used as a random insult. Either way, if a student said it aloud in class, I wouldn’t have a choice. I’d address the comment. Sternly.Â
It’s district policy for me to do so, and even if it weren’t, I’d want to say something. I’m aware of the statistics. I know that probably at least one person in each of my classes, and more likely two or three, is questioning his/her sexuality and that the questioning can be painful. I know that the rates of depression, self-medicating drug use, and suicide for kids immersed in that process are dangerously high. Despite my no-censorship policy for our writing and, regardless of how much I want students’ voices to be primary in my room, there are times when I need to step up and establish parameters.Â
I’d probably say something like, Listen, we’re writers in here. We purport to understand the power of language. We need to be responsible for the impact of our word-choices. This is an example of the kind of language that can cause people in here pain. If we casually litter our communications with homophobic, or with racial or ethnic slurs, what kind of writers are we? If we don’t think about our choices and don’t take responsibility for the power of our words, what kind of art are we making? What kind of world are we hoping to live in?
A diatribe like that will undoubtedly heighten the tension in the room and make a number of students uncomfortable. However, if I stay silent and just act like homophobic (or racial or ethnic) slurs are nothing particularly remarkable, then surely there will be students who no longer feel like the room is a safe environment. Not one for them to learn in, and certainly not one in which they can trust the class enough to take risks in their writing. Letting hurtful comments slide when spoken aloud is not, in my opinion, an acceptable way for an educator to behave. But, Reflections are trickier. If I don’t read the nasty comment aloud, no one in the class - save me and the writer - will know it exists. I can spare the rest of the students the uncomfortable tension. More importantly, I can spare any kid who might be pained by hearing the word, the hurt and humiliation, the perhaps unwanted attention brought about by hearing it.
Yet, if I don’t bring the comment to light, isn’t its vitriol still present? Might it fester if not addressed and then surface in some other potentially more dangerous fashion? Wouldn’t the better course, albeit the more arduous one, be to be honest? To bring the issue into the open and confront it?
Have I stumbled into - to use another somewhat horrid phrase - a teachable moment?
On the other hand, if I read the comment aloud instead of skipping it, am I not conferring upon it an element of legitimacy? Am I unwittingly offering the writer a bullhorn for his/her hateful speech?
This I suspect: If the slur in question were a racial or ethnic slur, I wouldn’t hesitate to read it aloud and then condemn it. But, what does that say about me? That I consider racism a more grievous offense than homophobia and am more willing to put myself on the line to confront it? That I’m more willing to hear racial and ethnic slurs come out of my own mouth and, therefore, am inherently less sensitive to their impact than homophobic ones? That, because I believe racism to be a more obvious and generally disdained bad behavior than homophobia, I’m less afraid of somebody’s parent taking offense to my point of view and protesting about me to the schoolboard?
I’d like to believe none of these assertions are true, that the reason I’d more quickly call out the racism is that people might be more surprised it continues to lurk in our midst. How many of my students, after all, don’t already know that a large portion of their peers are homophobic? Why bring additional attention to a problem that’s already glaring?
I’ve got six hours left before class begins and I don’t know what to do. I guess I’m leaning toward reading the Reflection aloud and then addressing it, but I wouldn’t say I’m confident about that choice. Maybe in the moment, I’ll cower. Maybe something in the room, the feel of it, will make me believe cowering is the right move.
All I know for sure, is that I’ll be thinking about it for the next six hours, and that afterward, no matter what decision I make, I’ll think about it some more.
This is not the kind of question anyone would ever find on a standardized test.
Jeff Kass teaches Creative Writing at Pioneer High School and Eastern Michigan University and directs the Literary Arts Programs at The Neutral Zone.
Comments
Mumbambu, Esq.
Mon, Sep 28, 2009 : 2:30 p.m.
YOU CANT BE SERIOUS: If I had to guess the sentence "I highly doubt she'll ever get over that faggot" probably has to do with the physical limitation of a girl not being able to get over a pile of sticks bound together. At least that is what I learned from The Simpsons' Martin Prince. REBBA WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?: Seriously, what the heck are you talking about?
Sierra Elizabeth
Sun, Sep 27, 2009 : 1:15 a.m.
Daniel F: You are as homophobic as they come. Really listen to yourself. Scratch that. They say that writing is etching our metaphysical syllables into a tangible form. So rather, read your tangible self-expression: "If a person of high-school age is willing to flaunt their sexual choices, they ought to be able to take the resulting reaction from their peers." You just said, in an oversimplified manner, that taking abuse for making personal choices that don't actually hurt anyone is ok. That is what you said, because "resulting reaction" is presented as if it was an option, meaning something somebody asks for by making the choice to simply be themselves (and there is no other choice if you want to be a truly content, healthy human being). Are you really ok with that? You need some empathy counseling. My sexual choice is a genetic part of my being. Science proves that sexuality is a continuum, and can be influenced by hormonal shifts, but is an inborn trait: an established institution of the self that can only show through more and more. I don't refer to being yourself as something you project onto other people, so much as give off and hint at with your words. You can never entirely project your entire self all at once, it is big picture thinking that forms our assessment of others. Your thinking is small, and it shows. You also add: "What I meant to say is this- why are so-called GLBT students deemed a group who deserve special protection? Like Topcat said, learning is an uncomfortable process." Learning? You think that we learn to receive our genetics? Yes, clearly there is a voice inside our mothers that says "Come on baby, as you grow up your genetic code can change, and this is how you change it. The genetic code really isn't as complicated as the human genome project made it out to be after all" and gives us detailed instructions that we remember through our formative years. Yeah, that's how it must work. Everyone knows that! Hopefully you at least get the sarcasm. Clearly you don't read or get out much, and that shows too. Asking for the right to a safe space without small-minded mongering from straight students who can't take thinking outside of their small, safe space (Look, a commonality: we all want our safe space! Can't it just be a little bigger to fit the margins?) is what's really necessary right now. Just as we've learned to commit ourselves to providing a space free of racial tension to allow our diversity to do its job: teach us about each others' various cultures, and allow celebration of that diversity. Not maiming culture in an effort to promote cultural leveling. Acceptance that we aren't all the same. Sameness isn't a realistic big picture, no matter what issue of self-actualization you're discussing. I am currently typing the longest post on the history of this planet earth, but clearly you can tell that post angered me. I'm in a city (Holland, MI. CULTURE SHOCK 101) where I keep saying that I'm no longer preaching to the choir, but looking at this representation of A2 clearly there is not understanding but a fixation on faking tolerance. At least here homophobia is up front. The GSF: deemed a sexual sin, not recognized by Hope. The writer of the film Milk is in town, and they wouldn't allow us (GSF) to screen it with him present, but they'll let our English department do it. Clear-cut discrimination. What are the connotations of sexual brokenness in Christianity? I'd say that with high divorce rates and a progressive contemporary culture, we need to reconsider questions like that in a safe public forum and stop ignoring the implications of skewed views of sexuality.
Katie Strode
Fri, Sep 25, 2009 : 2:53 p.m.
Jeff, thank you for writing about this. It's interesting to read a teacher's perspective on the use of homophobic slurs.
KarenH
Fri, Sep 25, 2009 : 1:37 p.m.
As someone who is gay, I'm pretty offended by some of the comments above, although I am quite used to them after 40+ years. Gay people are not looking for special treatment, we are looking for EQUAL treatment and EQUAL protection. Gay Americans are still denied over 1000 federal benefits that are afforded to straight Americans who marry. It's not asking for special treatment to have access to the same rights as every other American. And it is not asking for special treatment to forbid the use of slurs like "faggot" or to encourage against phrases like "that's so gay" any more than it is to discourage the use of the "n" word. The same way we protect racial minorities from racial slurs, we should protect our children from homophobic slurs. Not just those who are gay, or who may be questioning if they are gay, but those who have gay parents or even just gay friends. We've come a long way in the past few decades, but it's clear from some comments here that we still have a long way to go. "Faggot" is not just a word. To Jeff - Those are some lucky kids to have such a thoughtful teacher. Keep up the good work.
bunnyabbot
Fri, Sep 25, 2009 : 11:27 a.m.
I do think that it's funny that whenever a minority group cries foul it is accepted and respectful and enlightened. But where to someone to have a straight pride march it would be protested as anti something or other. sorry, but you're gay, it is not special, some people don't like it, some people JUST DO NOT CARE, others don't care but roll thier eyes at every little preceived injustice. Others don't care until someone they know who is gay just won't shut up about it, then it becomes an issue.
bunnyabbot
Fri, Sep 25, 2009 : 11:18 a.m.
"enlightenment" such a catchy word that sold a line of BS to the masses. Kids and adults will use what words they know can do the most damage, it's easier that way. additionally, it is not anyone elses place to dictate how another person thinks is wrong. give them the information, sure, that is fine, but then harping on them for using a slur is creating as much negativity as the slur does. (and not saying the slur is silencing a person while the other just gets what they want, special treatment) as the teacher just leave it as, you know, some of the language is starting to offend me. Plese do not make references about race, religion, sexual orientation (etc) that could be taken in a demeaning derogatory way. Stand up for your own uncomfort about it, maybe that will run off on someone, but don't assume to know what another feels in regards to "hurtful words" and run to their defense when not asked (and do so if asked or if your classroom becomes a hostile enviorment).
Mike Hulsebus
Fri, Sep 25, 2009 : 9:25 a.m.
Jeff, I think that you, as a man, discussing this issue as a male role model will especially help out the boys in your class. Please give us a followup with how things went.
BoFNF
Fri, Sep 25, 2009 : 8:36 a.m.
just let them now that throwing around the word faggot comes with more emotional stress than the word bitch would. and it will always offend a person more deeply.
Harlan Underhill
Thu, Sep 24, 2009 : 10:16 p.m.
I'm not clear whether YOU know the identity of the writer of each of the Reflections. In the two examples you provide the word could be replaced with "sh*thead" or "*ssh*le" without any distortion of the syntax. I take the usages to be random insults, but if the word is beginning to appear again as a random insult, it's because, I suspect, there has been cultural forgetting. You need to address it, maybe individually to start, if you know who wrote it, maybe generally, as a reminder of how utterly dehumanizing, deindividualizing, and destructive some slurs are.
Messa
Thu, Sep 24, 2009 : 9:48 p.m.
Oh and about "flaunting" sexuality, hetrosexuals, which I am one of, flaunt it more than anyone. Open any magazine and there's ad's all over the place with half dressed men and women wrapped around each other selling everything from jeans to vacations and gee, Danny, you don't seem to have a problem with that. We hold hands in public, kiss in public. We're just flaunting it all over the place.
Messa
Thu, Sep 24, 2009 : 4:55 p.m.
I can see where it would be a hard call to make. On the one hand, you pretty much told them they could write what they wanted...and, they did. On the other hand, if at all possible, school should be a safe place from cruel and hateful names. Sadly, in the real world, they are going to face all kinds of hateful people. Maybe instead of reading it from one student's paper, you could address name calling of any kind and try to impress on them that mature adults do not resort to that.
Chrysta Cherrie
Thu, Sep 24, 2009 : 3:46 p.m.
Unlearning bad behavior can certainly be uncomfortable, but it leads to enlightenment and respect, and in this case the unlearning particularly needs to take place among non-GLBT people. Scientific research widely posits that being a sexual minority is a genetic predisposition and not a choice, though even if it was, there is no excuse for hateful comments about it. It is not special treatment for a person to expect to be treated with the same level of respect and acceptance as anyone else, just as it is not "flaunting" for anyone (GLBT or otherwise) to be open about their orientation.
DanielF
Thu, Sep 24, 2009 : 3:15 p.m.
I should have reprhrased my original comment. What I meant to say is this- why are so-called GLBT students deemed a group who deserve special protection? Like Topcat said, learning is an uncomfortable process. If a person of high-school age is willing to flaunt their sexual choices, they ought to be able to take the resulting reaction from their peers. Not just yell "homophobia" and then try to get the other kids punished. Why do homosexuals get special treatment? All this is doing is is teaching homosexual high school kids to turn into a class of professional greiviance -mongers, who go throuhg life complaining and demanding special treatment..
Tony Dearing
Thu, Sep 24, 2009 : 2:57 p.m.
A comment on this post was moved because it addressed our moderation policy. To see the comment, go to: http://www.annarbor.com/about/comment-moderation-guidelines-meant-to-cultivate-community-forum/
lorayn
Thu, Sep 24, 2009 : 2:30 p.m.
"if the slur in question were a racial or ethnic slur, I wouldnt hesitate to read it aloud and then condemn it. But, what does that say about me? That I consider racism a more grievous offense than homophobia and am more willing to put myself on the line to confront it? That Im more willing to hear racial and ethnic slurs come out of my own mouth and, therefore, am inherently less sensitive to their impact than homophobic ones? That, because I believe racism to be a more obvious and generally disdained bad behavior than homophobia, Im less afraid of somebodys parent taking offense to my point of view and protesting about me to the schoolboard?" the answer(s) is/are yes, yes, yes... We all, including students, respect those around us who are authentic, even if it may make us and others uncomfortable. Learning is uncomfortable -- but that discomfort can move us beyond what we already think we know.
The Grinch
Thu, Sep 24, 2009 : 2:28 p.m.
Top Cat: So, do you think they no longer use that word? Or do they continue to use it, just no in front of you? I guarantee it is the latter, not the former. So might a discussion of the word, of what it says about them, of why it is wrong, might that have been more productive than prohibiting it in your presence?
Matthew
Thu, Sep 24, 2009 : 1:58 p.m.
From a practical perspective, it should be addressed. A slur like that can get you fired or written up. I'd rather have that pointed out to me by a teacher than by a pink slip. The students can decide for themselves whether or not it's worth making the comment, but they should be aware of the consequences.
Chrysta Cherrie
Thu, Sep 24, 2009 : 1:50 p.m.
People removing anti-GLBT language from their vocabulary is not "catering" to GLBT people or awarding them "special treatment." On the contrary, it's extending them the same courtesy as their straight counterparts. It's disheartening that, as far as we've progressed in our treatment toward/language about various minorities (ethnic/racial/religious/etc), many people seem to think anti-GLBT comments are acceptable. Let's treat each other like decent human beings; it's neither OK to marginalize GLBT people by using these slurs, nor is it to use anti-GLBT comments in reference to straight people, implying that the worst thing a person can be is a sexual minority. This is a good opportunity for the author to open a dialogue about this issue and discuss it respectfully.
DanielF
Thu, Sep 24, 2009 : 1:14 p.m.
To me it is a non-issue. Just tell the kid that use of that kind of language is uncalled for. I think that teachers/parents/administrators go way beyond the norm to cater to the "needs" of GLBT folks,and give them special treatment. This special treatment is what I object to.
Otto Mobeal
Thu, Sep 24, 2009 : 1:03 p.m.
I don't think it has anything to do with homophobia. Faggot is put down - not a sexual orientation. Half the kids are calling each other faggot, and the other half are calling each other retard. I don't think "retard" has anything to do with mental disability. These two words (along with the N-word) are simply put downs. It might be an interesting class if they all were requried to use insensitive comments and discuss appropriate uses of these words.
smr
Thu, Sep 24, 2009 : 12:33 p.m.
#1. i think the kids are so lucky to have a thoughtful teacher like yourself. thanks for posting this here and i think it's very interesting to hear about this from a teacher's point of view. #2. i say bring it up in class and have a dialogue. my reasoning: god forbid something happens with this kid a few months from now, a hate crime, a bullying incident. you would think "maybe if we talked about this, something could have been different." these kids wrote these obviously incendiary words on a school assignment with their name on it that they handed to a teacher. isn't that some kind of a cry for help? i'm looking forward to reading more annarbor.com contributions from you (the quality of your writing is far and away superior to most of the stuff that gets published here)
dzuck
Thu, Sep 24, 2009 : 12:19 p.m.
REBBAPRAGADA, you are getting caught up in semantics. The issue is not about the teachers lesson. It's about how the teacher responds to such a comment. I agree that it should be addressed by the teacher. The dilemma is: do you address it with the student alone or to call it out in class. I would definitely start with the student, but at some point address this issue as a teachable moment for the entire class. peppermintpatty is correct. Safety first and always. That is the mission.
peppermintpatty
Thu, Sep 24, 2009 : 11:05 a.m.
As a school counselor I get the dilemma. But I always come back to the safety of the kids in our school. It is my minimum obligation to provide a safe space for young people...ALL young people. Parents or administrators should understand, it's not about gayness, it's about making sure their kid is safe and not harassed. Silence is acceptance, the kid that wrote the word is waiting...it's game on, they know what they wrote and their waiting for Mr. Kass to make the next move.
Dmitri
Thu, Sep 24, 2009 : 9:02 a.m.
I'd call that out. Do exactly what you said up there, "What kind of writers does this make us?" Do it.