Earlier yesterday a Tweet came up on one of my Twitter accounts. The Tweet promised to enlighten me, and all other followers, on the “networking” value of a breakfast its parent association had just held.

Valuable stuff, we were assured.

Personally, I don’t Digg such things. First off, I’m not much of a joiner; it’s rare for me to get involved with an organization of any type. Second — and more importantly — I’m reluctant to give up all that meals portend for building deep, lasting intimacy in close relationships.

Reality check: An invitation to lunch or dinner is the same in business as it is with your mom. Relax. Let your guard down. Tell me what’s going on in your life.

Trust me with your secrets.

That’s not to say we should regard as promiscuity any get together at Qdoba by co-workers. As I write this column, my wife is engaged in just such a connection; I’m sure all proprieties are in place.

At the same time, wouldn’t it be odd and sad if all matters of schedule coordination were leveraged only to bring about such bonding moments with anyone and everyone except for each other?

Just before Thanksgiving last year, I gave some advice in my column here on AnnArbor.com concerning discussions of one’s own divorce at holiday family gatherings. Powerful impulses toward self-disclosure motivated some readers to e-mail me after reading it, to be personally certain that what I had said applied to their situations.

Was I sure? I assured them that I was.

As Christians, we celebrate the sacrament of Holy Communion as remembrance of Jesus’ sacrifice to forgive our sins. And yet the significance of this as fellowship must be noted as well. Our Lord not only ate this meal with His disciples, but shared the cup from which He drank with them (e.g., Matthew 26:27).

They sang together here. The impending betrayal by Judas Iscariot was disclosed here. When I was growing up, my Grandma and Papa Deaton lived right next door. Mind you, this was in the country, so our homes were separated by a field something like a typical city block here in Saline. Back then, nothing but tall grass between them.

Particularly during the summers, I’d have lunch with them almost every day — on into my high-school years. By choice. There was no place I would rather have been.

Now, like you all, I’ve read the ubiquitous (and unsubstantiated) cliché that argues “communication problems are the number one cause of divorce.” We’ve got to look beyond that. If sharing a meal is all that I’ve argued above in terms of coming together, transparently, including the greatest risks and rewards, what are we leaving on the table by the choices we make in those with whom we share them?

As an aside: Happy birthday, Dad. Hope the readers of AnnArbor.com can forgive this Divorce Pastor column coming in a day late.

My family got together at Weber’s, so my priorities had to shift.

Dell Deaton is a Christian counselor specializing in divorce (and alternatives), available through independent professional practice since 1983. Contact on www.divorcepastor.com or by phone at (734) 668-2001 in Saline.

Local volunteer with the Boy Scouts of America. Dad, remarried, three dogs. Internationally-recognized expert on Ian Fleming and James Bond watches.

Note: Names and other identifying details are always changed for Divorce Pastor columns to respect, protect privacy.