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Posted on Sun, Feb 13, 2011 : 5:59 a.m.

In labor of love, 90-year-old Ann Arbor man relives courtship letters by typing them

By Heather Lockwood

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Joe Datsko and Doris Ross exchanged more than 700 letters during their World War II-era courtship. Now Joe, 90 of Ann Arbor, is typing the letters in order to relive their memories and to preserve the words.

Melanie Maxwell | AnnArbor.com

Doris Ross insisted. They were to be just friends.

So the dark-haired beauty wrote in her letters to Joe Datsko during the first blush of their courtship as World War II raged a world away.

Joe — stationed in Oahu, Hawaii, with the U.S. Navy — insisted, too.

"I knew I was in love with her and I kept telling her in just about every letter that I wrote. In fact, I proposed to her in a letter," recalled Joe, now 90 and a longtime resident of Ann Arbor. "She said, 'Let’s not get serious. Let’s be good friends.'

"I didn’t give up."

The marriage of independence and persistence paid off.

Joe and Doris wed Aug. 8, 1946, after exchanging hundreds of letters, letters that the couple kept through nearly 64 years of marriage.

Today, a year after Doris' death on Valentine's Day at age 85, Joe is reliving their love story by typing every word of every letter. He started the project late last February and has worked on it nearly every day since, spending four or five hours a day typing on his MacBook.

After Doris's death, Joe rediscovered the letters in a closet. They had saved them, meaning to read them again together.

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Joe with a photograph of his wife, Doris.

Melanie Maxwell | AnnArbor.com

Now the couple’s 718 letters, in their original envelopes with their now-vintage postage, fill five neatly labeled boxes in Joe's one-bedroom apartment at Glacier Hills Retirement Community.

They tell the story of the University of Michigan students who met in 1942 and courted each other, tentatively at first.

“After I graduated as a senior, I got into the service, and we had dated a few times," Joe recalled in an interview this week. "And then we started corresponding, ‘Dear friend,’ you know, just friends,” he recalled. “One of the first letters I wrote was (signed), ‘Yours truly,’ or something like that, or maybe it was, ‘Sincerely yours,’ or something, but they were just very casual.”

Though she denied having romantic feelings for Joe, Doris kept all of his letters. And he kept hers.

Joe said the letters have returned memories to him which had long since faded. He likened the experience to “reading a biography of a stranger.”

“I miss her a lot,” Joe said. “It’s like talking to her. I don’t know what my life would have been like without these letters. It’s been the focus of my life.”

He added: “I’m sort of living in two different time zones. I’m living in the present time zone and I’m living in the past time zone.”

Readers may remember Joe — he turned 90 this month and continues to be an avid cyclist.

As someone who's logged more than 100,000 miles on his bike, he's no stranger to big projects. The letter-typing project consumes his time — especially considering the fact that he never learned to type.

“I never got involved with a computer during my entire professional career, because I had students and graduate students who would take care of all the computing,” said Joe, a retired U-M professor of mechanical engineering.

"When I started typing these letters it was hunt and peck with two fingers, now I’m using nine fingers.”

Joe said the content of the letters ranges from everyday small talk to more serious conversation.

“We exchanged some humorous letters, some philosophical letters, some ordinary daily life letters,” Joe said. “And in November of 1945 I promised Nani that I would write a letter every day from then on.”

Nani, which means beautiful in Hawaiian, was Joe's pet name for Doris. He addressed many of the letters he wrote to “Nani Ross.” Joe was stationed in Oahu for the duration of his service, from about January 1944 to December 1945.

The last letter Joe had typed as of Wednesday was a letter Doris wrote, dated Feb. 6, 1945. He said it was unlike all those that came before it because it was the first love letter she wrote to him.

“I’m looking forward to reading my reaction to this,” he said of the love letter. “I was probably going through the roof when I read that.”

On June 12, 1946, several months after Joe returned from the service, Doris accepted his engagement ring and Aug. 8, they were married. The couple had five children and over the years traveled to 35 countries. Travel, Joe said, was one of things his wife enjoyed most in life.

Joe said Doris, a talented pianist, once wrote that travel, romance and music are "three things that would make life heavenly."

In Joe's apartment, photographs line a shelf along one wall: Doris as a young woman in hand-colored sepia photographs; Doris on an elephant on vacation abroad; the couple's five children across their lifetimes.

Joe said when he finishes typing the letters he plans to have them printed and bound to give as a gift to his family.

“I wanted the kids to know what their mother was like before they were born,” he said.

Doris's last letter to Joe was a Valentine’s Day card he found on her dresser the day she died.

“It was very touching, thanking me for all of the years,” he said.

Heather Lockwood is a reporter for AnnArbor.com. Reach her at heatherlockwood@annarbor.com or follow her on Twitter.

Comments

Lee

Sun, Feb 20, 2011 : 11:27 a.m.

Truly amazing, Joe!

JS

Sun, Feb 13, 2011 : 10:49 p.m.

Thank you Joe. I haven't written an actual letter and put it in the mail in a long while. I think it's high time I compose a few and send them to the people I love. Again, thank you for reminding me about what really matters.

julieswhimsies

Sun, Feb 13, 2011 : 6:42 p.m.

What a lovely story! Thank you annarbor.com!

Taylor Hulyk

Sun, Feb 13, 2011 : 5:43 p.m.

Beautifully written. These kinds of stories remind me that life is a beautiful thing. It's so heartening to find that couples can have such a rich and balanced life filled with love and adventure. I would love to read these after he has them printed. He should look into getting them published.

Patti Smith

Sun, Feb 13, 2011 : 4:33 p.m.

This is a beautiful story! My husband and I met on the Internet (waaaay back in 1999) and still have the emails that he printed out. They are the one thing I own that I would run back into a house fire to get.

Erica Hobbs

Sun, Feb 13, 2011 : 3:53 p.m.

What a great Valentine's Day story!

Paul A.

Sun, Feb 13, 2011 : 3:49 p.m.

Just another example of what a very special person Joe is. Their love continues to live through their children and the wonderful examples Joe and Doris set for them.

Kim Kachadoorian

Sun, Feb 13, 2011 : 1:42 p.m.

What a wonderful love story...thanks for sharing this.

HPD

Sun, Feb 13, 2011 : 12:55 p.m.

What a generous way to celebrate and cherish an important relationship. Joe, you continue to honor Doris so beautifully as you take on new learning (like typing) and as you show your loved ones what's uniquely important to you. What a brave and loving man! I'm sure, like me, there are thousands who would have appreciated having a dad and/or spouse who was able to find the way to share so much of themselves. Thank you for modeling something so important. Love wins.