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Posted on Tue, Nov 2, 2010 : 3:20 p.m.

Chris Armstrong successfully turns student body gay, U-M humor publication jokes

By James Dickson

University of Michigan student body president Chris Armstrong's so-called "radical gay agenda" to turn the student body gay has been successful, jokes the Every Three Weekly, the U-M student humor publication.

Chris-Armstrong.jpg

The University of Michigan's Every Three Weekly takes a humorous stab at allegations that MSA President Chris Armstrong pursues a "radical gay agenda.

Melanie Maxwell | AnnArbor.com

Armstrong has been the target of harassment by Michigan alumus and assistant Michigan attorney general Andrew Shirvell, who has used his blog and, allegedly, protests at Armstrong's domicile to make his allegations.

While the case has generated national media attention and, most recently, an effort by Armstrong to get Shirvell disbarred, the Every Three Weekly, as always, prefers to inject some levity into the situation.

From the Every Three Weekly:

"After a months-long battle with courageous political crusader Andrew Shirvell, MSA President Chris Armstrong has finally succeeded in his quest to turn Michigan's entire student body homosexual. ...

"I was straight my entire life, but Armstrong and his band of radical homosexuals have gayed me forever," explained freshman and new gay convertee Robert Harrison."

James David Dickson can be reached at JamesDickson@AnnArbor.com.

Comments

bigbluebus

Thu, Nov 4, 2010 : 9:26 p.m.

Wolverine 11 - So for you, anything goes because there's an "overarching idea" and it's "intentionally ridiculous." Nothing is sacred because it's "political satire". Which, of course, makes ME narrow-minded if I'm offended. Believe me, Every Three Weekly isn't a publication I read - unless my local, supposedly reputable news orgization calls attention to an article like this. You have made an unfortunately typical response, not addressing the issues I raised or answering my questions, but rather resorting to ad hominem attack. Peace and blessing to you, my friend.

wolverine11

Thu, Nov 4, 2010 : 4 p.m.

To respond, I really think you're missing the overarching idea here. Shirvell has made claims that Armstrong has an anti-Christian agenda and that he is a threat to the moral values of our campus community. Hopefully we can both agree that that is not the case. The idea of Jesus having a romantic relationship with Pontius Pilot is intentionally ridiculous, as is the idea of Chris Armstrong attempting to gay-marry the Pope. The absurdity of these fake quotations is a reflection of the absurdity of Shirvell's real-life allegations against Chris Armstrong. This is what political satire is. If you can't wrap your narrow mind around it, don't read it.

bigbluebus

Thu, Nov 4, 2010 : 3:27 p.m.

Sorry to shoot down your pronouncement wolverine 11, but I don't fit into any of your 3 categories. I've read the article, am very aware of the situation, and find Mr. Shirvell's remarks deplorable. Does anything he said make it OK for somene else to denigrate a religious faith? As a Catholic, then, is there anything that could be written or said about your Saviour that you would find offensive? A comment about Jesus marrying his boyfriend Pontius Pilate clearly does it for me. Similarly, you don't mind if the Pope is trashed?

bigbluebus

Thu, Nov 4, 2010 : 3:17 p.m.

Sorry to shoot down your pronouncement wolverine 11, but I don't fit into any of your 3 categories. I've read the article, am very aware of the situation, and find Mr. Shirvell's remarks deplorable. Does anything he said make it OK for somene else to denigrate a religious faith? As a Catholic, then, is there anything that could be written or said about your Saviour that you would find offensive? A comment about Jesus marrying his boyfriend Pontius Pilate clearly does it for me. Similarly, you don't mind if the Pope is trashed?

wolverine11

Thu, Nov 4, 2010 : 11:49 a.m.

As a fellow Catholic, I must say that I find absolutely nothing offensive about this satirical article. Although there are references to Christian doctrines, the true targets of the satire are homophobes and fear-mongerers. The references to Christianity are clearly just meant to exaggerate the lies that Andrew Shirvell has spread about Chris Armstrong. Anyone who disapproves of this article has either not read it closely, is uneducated about the incidents it is referencing, or thinks that it is appropriate for a full-grown man in a position of power to harass a college student based on his sexual preferences.

bigbluebus

Wed, Nov 3, 2010 : 9:20 p.m.

Please excuse my typo, of course I am very OFFENDED. What was your intention for putting this article in the News headlines? To inform the community? To generate discussion on this topic? Please respond. I don't see any other reason for doing this other than not knowing, not caring, or maybe perpetuating the ridicule this article contains, under the thin veil of 'humor'.

bigbluebus

Wed, Nov 3, 2010 : 9:05 p.m.

James and AA.Com, I am a daily reader and I'm infuriated by your calling attention to this article. As a Catholic Christian, I am deeply defended. Would you call attention to an article that ridiculed homosexuals the way this article ridicules Christ, Christianity, and Catholics in particular? Where are your journalisitc standards? If anything, stick this in the "sick humor" section of your website. Do you realize how ridiculous this article looks in the middle of the other news articles that surround it? Do you think doing this is funny? I hope my comments aren't removed for being too offensive to someone.

Peacemaker

Wed, Nov 3, 2010 : 1:03 p.m.

This isn't just juvenile humor, it is sick, sick, sick! "Turning and turning in the widening gyre The falcon cannot hear the falconer; Things fall apart; the center cannot hold; Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world, The blood-dimmed tide is loosed, and everywhere The ceremony of innocence is drowned; The best lack all conviction, while the worst Are full of passionate intensity. Yeats, "The Second Coming"

katie

Wed, Nov 3, 2010 : 9:20 a.m.

That was hilarious! Next election Chris could run for AA mayor and turn all of AA gAAy, then Michigayn. It would certainly help the economy of our troubled state, providing a "stimulus package" considerably more exciting than Obama's. Remember, you saw it on annarbor.com first...

David Briegel

Wed, Nov 3, 2010 : 8:57 a.m.

Hey Rich, Isn't it amazing how Republicans have NO sense of humor?

USRepublic

Tue, Nov 2, 2010 : 4:10 p.m.

There is a little bit of truth.......in every bit of humor.

doglover

Tue, Nov 2, 2010 : 3:38 p.m.

The story is hilarious.

joe average

Tue, Nov 2, 2010 : 3:26 p.m.

Way to go Chris!! Now if you could do the same with a certain alumnus... Oh wait; too late. never mind.

Forever27

Tue, Nov 2, 2010 : 2:53 p.m.

That was quite possibly the funniest thing i've ever read.