To err is human, so let's show other drivers some compassion
Something I've noticed writing these columns for AnnArbor.com is that articles on traffic issues draw many comments. The comments on the piece, "Bicyclists and drivers need to look out for each other on Ann Arbor area roads," were terrific.Â
I read a lot of venting that was educational to all who have an opinion on the subject. Perhaps it was some harmless “virtual road rage,” but I think it was both healthy and educational for both sides. Let’s keep communicating and start something here in Ann Arbor and Washtenaw County.
Let’s become introspective and start thinking about our own driving habits. Are there things you do in traffic that are illegal, unethical or just plain rude? Would the roads be a better place if you settled down just a little bit? If the answer is yes, why not try to work on whatever you think would be easiest, but would have some beneficial effect on operators of all the vehicles around you.
Let's show other drivers some respect.
We are all human and therefore, none of us are perfect - especially when it comes to operating vehicles. Any vehicle requires some dexterity, operational knowledge, and judgment.Â
Unfortunately, since we are merely human and not computers, we will not always be able to make the correct decision and flawlessly manipulate the various controls necessary to propel our vehicles from point A to point B. We will at times accidentally interfere, aggravate or unfortunately collide with other operators of vehicles. It is going to happen.
Why not try to change our perception while piloting various vehicles? Why not give yourself a pat on the back (with only one hand so you can continue to steer with the other) when you successfully avoid a collision or potentially dangerous situation?Â
Instead of immediately getting angry at the other operator, take a few seconds and reflect that you make mistakes on the road too. Next time there is a mistake made, it may be yours. Hopefully those around you will have similar skills, like you just demonstrated, when you make your future mistakes.
Taking it one step further, when we as humans realize we have made a mistake, it immediately makes us feel stupid and self-conscious. We generally become defensive. Our reaction to the mistake will be somewhat dictated by the reaction of those around us. Â
How would you feel for instance if you accidently cut someone off in traffic, looked in your rearview mirror and saw the other driver give you a smile, shrug of the shoulders and a friendly wave - using their whole hand instead of just one digit? Wouldn’t you want to wave back in your mirror with a sheepish “SORRY” wave? Would that make the rest of your trip less stressful, pleasant and perhaps even brighten your day? We have that control over each other’s day if we can practice some tolerance in traffic.
Let’s go viral with this outlook on vehicle operation! Instead of road rage and the feeling that we need to “teach the other guy a lesson” by punishing him or her for the piloting error, let’s instead give them a “no problem” wave and celebrate our own expertise in vehicle operation. Â
Take a critical look at our own vehicle operation and vow to be safer and more courteous to others on the road. Take responsibility for your own actions on the road. Bring a positive outlook to the road we all must share. We can't control the actions of others, but perhaps we can set a safe, courteous and positive example.
Drive safely, use all available safety equipment, operate defensively, concentrate on your vehicle operation, be tolerant of others and stay positive. If you still feel the need to vent, I always appreciate your comments on this column.
Lock it up, don’t leave it unattended, be aware and watch out for your neighbors.
Rich Kinsey is a retired Ann Arbor police detective sergeant who now blogs about crime and safety for AnnArbor.com.
Comments
trs80
Tue, Mar 23, 2010 : 5:06 p.m.
@jcj Alreday trying to get orders changed. Thanks for the tip, noob.
jcj
Tue, Mar 23, 2010 : 11:36 a.m.
swcornell I couldn't agree more! I usually just hit myself in the temple and hope they understand. There is NOT a driver out there that has not made s stupid mistake while driving! But there are too many out there that just think they have the right of way all the time.
swcornell
Tue, Mar 23, 2010 : 10:53 a.m.
I always wished there was a hand signal for me to say to another driver: Sorry, I know that was a stupid thing for me to do, sometimes I can be such an idiot! I'm a good driver, but sometime I make mistakes. I'm usually thankful that the other driver is better and avoided the accident.
KJMClark
Mon, Mar 22, 2010 : 9:29 p.m.
For Ms. Zirkel, we just went to Maui last year. After having four locals try to kill us on the roads there, I'd just as soon keep the aloha bit on the islands. The roads there were about as mercenary as SE Michigan. I agree with those who said that everyone should have to drive a motorcycle for a while, and I'd up that by saying that everyone should have to drive a bicycle on major roads for a while as well. Maybe we could simplify it to say they have to show 8 hours of time on a scooter at speeds from 15 (on 35mph roads) to the speed limit on the expressway. It opens your eyes a lot when you can't just step on the gas and go as fast as other people. I recall reading several years ago, when AA was looking for a non-motorized consultant for our current non-motorized plan, that various studies had shown that SE Michigan drivers are unusually aggressive. We really seem to have a cowboy culture on the roads here. The only thing I know of that changes that is increased law enforcement. I vote for speed and tailgating camera enforcement just about everywhere.
jcj
Mon, Mar 22, 2010 : 9:14 p.m.
trs80 I would be talking to "the man" and see if I couldn't move my behind to a different State. Oh can't go? Well this pitiful state must have something to offer you. Or this State isn't the only pitiful thing.
mrs_samuelson
Mon, Mar 22, 2010 : 7:17 p.m.
Awesome article. I love your perspective and call to action!
oncebitten
Mon, Mar 22, 2010 : 7:11 p.m.
The only time I get miffed is when someone is on their cell phone and weaving all over the road. I try to be a considerate driver and I don't get mad at people. I KNOW I've pulled into another lane and probably did so in a way that the other driver thought was unsafe. I've had it done to me. I ride motorcycles - a lot - I'm probably more careful around bikes on the road than I am around cars. I think if people chilled out a little and just tried to be a bit nicer (don't block a driveway when you're at a red light and watch someone sit there for 10 minutes not able to get out - what? a car in front of you is going to make you late?) the roads and people in general would be far easier, nicer and safer to travel. Oh and leave early! I see the same people RACING every day. I know they're late for work... Every morning. 5 minutes. Just five minutes and you won't need to tailgate, weave in and out, blow your horn or flip people off for being in YOUR way... Trust me. Makes for a better beginning of the work day when you're not walking in all stressed out and p-o'd too.
pseudo
Mon, Mar 22, 2010 : 6:37 p.m.
the framework around driver education, skill development and decision making in this state is TERRIBLE. The drivers are TERRIBLE. Its pretty simple. We apparently make 'em just don't know how to drive 'em. I know that fault-based collision insurance is more expensive...and the insurance in this state should be that expensive because the drivers are that bad. I think traffic cameras would be a wonderful addition to major intersections here - too many are confused about green and red. Oh and then there is speed...
Lokalisierung
Mon, Mar 22, 2010 : 6:07 p.m.
"People in Michigan can not drive. Plain and simple." I'll agree with that. As soon as you enter any other state people actually obey the left lane passing lane rule.
trs80
Mon, Mar 22, 2010 : 5:12 p.m.
People in Michigan can not drive. Plain and simple. Of the many states the man has made me call home, Michigan is by far the worst. Worst living conditions, worst people and the worst drivers. Ex: The people that will try and pass everyone just to get stopped at the next light and have to wait just like everyone. My other favorite is the people that will take off from a light like a bat out of hell just to hit the speed limit and slow down. What is with having to always be first? My only idea behind this is no one raised here has any real moral values. Only worried about themselves. Go selfish blue!!
pebbles5
Mon, Mar 22, 2010 : 3:46 p.m.
One of the kindnesses that is common in this area is for a vehicle in right lane of the interstate to move over to the left lane, when possible,or just slow up a little to allow someone to merge onto the highway. I have been in several states where this is never done, and folks sometimes have to come to a complete stop before entering the highway. Talk about an accident waiting to happen?! Lets give Michiganders a little credit for something nice on the roads and not take this courtesy for granted.
CountyKate
Mon, Mar 22, 2010 : 2:35 p.m.
Good point, @jcj. I try to be considerate to other drivers and even smile and wave them through a stop-sign intersection if we arrive at the same time. But, on the few occasions when I've been speeding to the hospital I've not bothered with consideration for other drivers as much as getting my passenger to the emergency room. I mean, I do watch them and try to stay out of their way and all, because an accident would slow me down, but when my son opened an artery in his throat after his tonsillectomy, or the time he tried to cut off one of his fingers, I really didn't care what names I got called as long as I got him to the hospital. I would hope I can remember those times when someone else is driving like their pants are on fire.
jcj
Mon, Mar 22, 2010 : 2:03 p.m.
How many of us sneer when we see someone speed through a yellow light? Then we do the same thing 1 mile down the road. I pride myself on being on time for anything I do. But there are occasions when my wife drags her feet getting ready ( my wife doesn't know my screen name) and I have to speed to stay on time. But when I am not in a hurry I admonish other speeders to leave home earlier. There have been times when I had to get to the hospital in a hurry because of an emergency. So when I see someone else speeding my wife and I "try" to remind each other we don't know why they are speeding or being careless. For all we know they are on their way to the hospital. I know that these situations are few but we never know when it is true. It appears that our excuse for the way WE drive is always better than the excuse anyone else has. None of these "excuses" are worth risking our lives or the lives of others. But it might do us good to realize we are all under some of the same pressures.
anonamoose
Mon, Mar 22, 2010 : 1:57 p.m.
@fjord. I noticed that too, strange isn't it?
88Chill
Mon, Mar 22, 2010 : 1:47 p.m.
Thanks for this article. Making everyone more aware of the common courtesy one should expect on the road can only help. For instance, the morons I'd like to read this article and these comments are those who turn onto a multi-lane road and then choose the lane where the oncoming traffic is closest. Hello?!?
thurber
Mon, Mar 22, 2010 : 1:24 p.m.
Good message! We're all in it together. Driving, especially in the busy downtown, with a little class and respect for each other is the kind of change I want. On the freeway, please use the right lane for slower driving, the left lane is for passing. Thanks! : )
actionjackson
Mon, Mar 22, 2010 : 11:16 a.m.
Good article Rich. After seeing the best and worst in people after auto related incidents you know that human behavior is really tested on the road. The higher the density of traffic, the less patient the humans. Keeping forefront in the mind that "what if that's my neighbor", the one that I like, or "what if that's the person I sat next to in church? Hope enough people understand what it is you are attempting to relate here.
Grand Marquis de Sade
Mon, Mar 22, 2010 : 10:13 a.m.
Unfortunately there are some people operating automobiles (I won't call them drivers because they aren't) who are totally incompetent and probably should never have been issued a license. Our incredibly dumbed down driver's education programs don't help at all either. Honest mistakes in traffic don't bother me at all. We're all guilty of those. What angers me are the truly incompetent or those who just simply inconsiderate of other drivers.
a2law
Mon, Mar 22, 2010 : 9:38 a.m.
It is not those who err who cause the trouble or create a majority of the road rage. It is those who feel an entitlement to act in a selfish and dangerous manner i.e.: texting while driving, talking on the cellphone while not paying attention to the road, stopping in the right lane because they realize they want to turn left at the intersection, holding up an entire lane of traffic while search for a streetsign instead of pulling over and letting everyone pass. Be aware of your surroundings and other traffic. Mistakes are one thing, impoliteness and selfishness are quite different.
timeatwork
Mon, Mar 22, 2010 : 9:33 a.m.
where is the poll at?
ffej440
Mon, Mar 22, 2010 : 8:56 a.m.
I'm not even sure what the rules are anymore. I was taught in drivers ed that the left turn lane was for left turns ONLY- Now its used as a merge lane and I have seen many people use it to pass. What happend to a solid yellow line meaning do not cross? I have seen many patrol cars doing this so it must be legal.
Smiley
Mon, Mar 22, 2010 : 7:38 a.m.
Every once in awhile, I see a driver who believes he has been cut off by a driver turning right on red (or something similar), speed up and tailgate the apparent offender. I witnessed one the other day where the offended driver was quite literally 150 meters from the intersection. He wouldn't even have had to touch his brakes, but chose to speed up, slam on his brakes, tailgate and flash his brights at the alleged offender. It's as if this driver thought no one noticed him speed up and then slam on his brakes, as if to make it appear the alleged offender made a huge mistake. I'd like to see a personality profile on this feller, as I'm a bit baffled. In all fairness, I also have seen people turn right on red when they shouldn't have, which probably happens more often.
RoboLogic
Mon, Mar 22, 2010 : 7:38 a.m.
About three years back I took a drive out to Colorado to visit my sister. I could not help but notice how polite the drivers in Iowa and Nebraska were. Three hours driving across Nebraska, the only rude drivers I encountered had license plates from Illinois, Michigan, and New York.
SMAIVE
Mon, Mar 22, 2010 : 7:29 a.m.
I'll cut some slack, as long as the driver isn't texting, talking on their cell phone, or trying to figure out what to do with their cigarette (besides throwing the lit butt out the window).
Top Cat
Mon, Mar 22, 2010 : 7:19 a.m.
I follow the Boy Scout slogan, "Do a good turn daily" and make sure that every day, I give someone a break on the road.
Annie Zirkel
Mon, Mar 22, 2010 : 6:52 a.m.
Great vision! One of the things I loved about living in Hawaii is that the spirit of Aloha often showed up on the roads. People noticed you and let you into their lanes happily. They made room for you when you needed to turn. On one strip of road where there is no room for a turn lane, people on both sides stop periodically just to let someone in. They didn't rush past not seeing you or squeeze forward so that you couldn't merge. Locals rarely gestured rudely. Kindness was expected. When I came back here it's one of the first things I noticed. Here most people are in it for themselves. 'It's my turn', 'my lane'. And they do not see themselves as part of something bigger. They are often in a hurry, not willing to get somewhere a minute later and quick to choose anger when someone screws up or even is rude on purpose. That Aloha spirit is the one thing I would love to be able to transport back to our town. (Well - besides the sunshine, tropical breezes, blue green waters and fragrant flowers.)
Anonymous Due to Bigotry
Mon, Mar 22, 2010 : 6:50 a.m.
AAJoker: The thing is that it doesn't really save them any seconds most of the time. I tend to leave 1-2 seconds worth of space between me and the car in front of me to avoid rear-ending people (a habit from riding motorcycles), and on the highway at 80mph this seems to cause lots of people to think that I'm driving slowly or that somehow cutting around me and getting in that space is going to save them some time, but it accomplishes absolutely nothing except increased accident risk. I also slow down if someone starts tailgating me because I can stop more slowly if someone in front of me slams on the brakes and avoid having the tailgater rear end me. Tailgating accomplishes nothing anyway, and if you're behind me then it just slows you down. Cruising along slowly in the left lane is also very foolish. When I see someone doing this and want to get around them, I sometimes try to flash my lights at them and try to get them move over before passing, but half the people doing this are just totally oblivious.
AAJoker
Mon, Mar 22, 2010 : 6:39 a.m.
I would agree if it weren't for the fact that I see people intentionally cut others off everyday just to save 15seconds on their commute. Then again, I also see people intentionally sitting in the fast lane at 60mph because they feel others can "just go around them". The fact is there is no ingrained driver's etiquette in SE MI and unfortunately without any enforcement things will not improve.
Anonymous Due to Bigotry
Mon, Mar 22, 2010 : 6:37 a.m.
It would be ideal if everyone had to ride a motorcycle for at least a year before being issued a driver's license. When you ride a motorcycle, you can't get away so easily with doing stupid things. After that, perhaps you'd be issued a license to drive cars, then when you learned how to do that perhaps you could get a license to drive a heavier vehicle like an SUV or pickup. It also appears that people driving larger vehicles exhibit poorer driving on average than people driving smaller ones. It's as though they think that because they're protected, they can take greater risks. Never mind that their larger vehicle poses more of a danger to others and often doesn't protect them as well as they think, especially when their high-center-of-gravity vehicle flips and rolls.
a2doc
Mon, Mar 22, 2010 : 6:16 a.m.
People do things in a motor vehicle that they would never do in real life. They feel insulated and protected by the steel and glass around them. How many of you would push straight to the front of a line (perhaps waiting for a table in a restaurant) then gesture to those patiently queuing behind?! Road intolerance and rage is an expression of low human behavior, that's not tolerated by normal social interactions. In fact, I have a feeling it is generally done by weak people who would not get away with it in normal life. This is a great dialogue. I have read the other comments with interest, especially on the bike vs. car article. If someone does something dumb on the road I count to 5, breathe deeply and try to consider that the person might be my mum / dad in a hire car - usually works!
Anonymous Due to Bigotry
Mon, Mar 22, 2010 : 5:48 a.m.
I think the "sorry wave" thing is a bit unrealistic of a communication skill for most people. Some people don't seem to realize that some of the stuff they do slows down traffic and doesn't actually get them to their destination any faster. If you fancy yourself as a "green consumer" then realize that doing things to slow down traffic increases pollution and thus is bad for the environment. About the worst thing you can do is cause an accident because that REALLY slows down traffic.
yohan
Mon, Mar 22, 2010 : 5:12 a.m.
Good article, yes we all could stand to cut the other driver some slack.